The University Theater was jam-packed with people of all ages last Monday night for “Comico Ciento,” a night of fun and laughter in celebration of University of the Philippines’ 100 years. UP alumni, who were mostly from College of Mass Communication, Music, and Theater Arts (that’s three separate colleges), were invited to perform.

Confession. The previous week had been so hectic for me, one of the reasons why I wasn’t able to submit an entry for PEP.

I am now in a hurry to finish this entry because I have an early call time for the last taping day of Princess Sarah (ibang entry na ‘yang topic na iyan).

The real confession I was juggling my schedule from taping (which would last till wee hours of the morning because the kids had to leave early; and I usually am the last punggol), corporate shows (which would require me to write the scripts for my stand up acts), out of town shows, caroling with the music ministry of our community (join ako dito kasi service yun saka saya, saka trip ko, bakit ba?!), and to top it all, I am a mother to a son who has a lot of Christmas parties (sa dami ba naman ng therapy schools niya), and a friend to people who deserve to be given gifts of appreciation.

Let me just give you an account of the last three days before the “Ciento Comico” show.

Friday, December 13: Taping then show at Captains Bar, then back to taping again.

Saturday: I went to Bacolod and flew back in evening.

Sunday: I went to Hong Kong with Uge (Eugene Domingo) for a corporate show (Primegold) and went home next day.

Monday noon: Ooopps! Meron nga palang show sa UP. Wala pa akong script. Kinakabahan ako. Nakakaloka! Magsakit-sakit kaya ako?

Para akong student na nag-cramming ng bonggang-bongga! I wrote the script while I was on board the plane. I only finished everything at the last minute. It was like a déjà vu experience for me. Heto na naman ako sa UP. Nagka-cramming na naman ako. ‘Di na ako nag-aaral, may anak na ako at lahat, pagbalik ko sa UP, cramming pa rin ako. Parang ang tanda ko na yata para sa ganitong klaseng tensyon.

Inside the plane, Uge was asleep while I was nagkakandaduling-duling na sa antok. I was really fighting it. Na-weirduhan na siguro sa akin ang mga tao kasi nag-stretching ako near the lavatory, with almost every passenger in the plane getting the full view.

One Swiss guy in suit asked me if I was okay. In my head, “If I tell you the truth, hahaba pa ito, kaya I opted to say ‘yes, I’m perfectly okay.’” Sayang, cute pa naman. Pero ‘pag ang choices pala ay between sa isang lalaking cute na pwede akong magka-nose bleed or kahihiyan ko at magmukha akong tanga, dun ako sa kahihiyan.

Just like in college, I would pray to God to please help me…please! Yes, I admit tinatamad ako minsan. There were times when I could have written the script instead of sleeping beside my son.

Eh, nakokonsensya din naman ako sa anak ko. One of the realities of a single mother is having to always explain to your child while you can’t be beside him all the time. There were times when I could have written the script, but just when I was about to start, I’d feel thirsty. So, I would go out of the office to get water, then I would see my mom and have a chat with her. Then my sister would suddenly arrive, and I would realize I forgot all about my script. I even forgot that the reason why I stepped out of the office was because I was thirsty. So help me god!

Anyway, back to my story, lahat na yata ng santo at santa sa langit natawag ko na for help. I was really in panic. I stopped writing for a while because all the ideas were just rumbling inside my mind, kasabay ang loud thumping of my heart, na may kasama ringng fear and anger sa sarili ko for being negligent! Grrr! Nawawala na yata ang thought flow ko (parang ngayon, sana hindi naman).

I paused…took a deep breath…closed my eyes for a while…cleared my thoughts…drank a glass of water…stared at the Christmas tree inside my office, prayed, prayed, then composed and prepared myself to start writing again. I finished the final draft of my whole monologue at exactly 6:00 p.m. I decided to interject my patay series in my stewardess monologue.

Ah, college…Going back to where you came from has always given me this pinch in the soul. It makes me go back as well to “who-I-really-am-and-what-I-really-want-to-be” mode. Baduy ba? But it’s true. Didn’t you notice that every time you go back to your hometown, or see friends from way back, you switch into your old self? That goes for me as well.

That night I saw the glow on the faces of the people—the performers, staff, and audience. Kaya pala homecoming ang tawag. Kasi it’s really “coming home” in a different way. The smell, the atmosphere, the culture, the system, the trees, the kiosks, the fish ball stands, the tambays, the garbage, the lubak-lubak na kalye…Gosh! Konti na lang baka maiyak ako.

Coming to my senses, parang nabuhayan ako ng loob. I remembered yung ideals ko when I was in college. The passion for excellence and performance was on fire. I was young and vibrant. Yet I wasn’t confident with myself. Mas malaki pa sa akin yung kabang nararamdaman ko then. Parang naglalaban ang emotions and internal organs ko. I remembered the feeling of being a student again. This time my audience was my teacher. Whew! Ilan ba ang capacity ng University Theater? 3,000? 5,000? Daming teachers ang mag-grade sa akin. Ayan na, ayan na, kinakabahan talaga ako!

There was Roderick Paulate in one corner doing his own make-up. He told me, “na-miss ko ito.” There was Tessie Tomas whose presence ay nakadagdag ng kaba ko. Nandun din si Kidlat! Ang husay ng mamang yun. Iba rin naman talaga si Willie Nepomuceno sa entablado. Haligi na siya sa impersonation. Nandun din si Ate Glow! Nandun din si RS Francisco! Ang UP PEP Squad at UP Street Dance na napakahusay. Buwis-buhay naman talaga ang ginawa nila.

Sa backstage: walang maarte, walang sumisigaw, walang prima donna, walang complications. Simple. Ako lang ba ang kinakabahan dito? Anak ng tokwa! Parang steady lang sila.

Ang role ko nga pala ay taga-maintenance at SSB (special services brigade), in other words, tanod.

Ako na! Nag-uniform na ako ng maintenance. Sumalang na ako. Bumukas na ang ilaw. Heto na ako sa thesis presentation ko. Nag-cramming ako. Totoo yun. Pero nag-homecoming din ako sa sarili ko. Kaya heto na ako sa harapan ng mga taong ang bayad sa ikot dyip ay mula singko sentimos hanggang sa kasalukuyan na six pesos and 50 centavos.

I went back to school, and I also went back to the basic rule of performing: enjoy, simply enjoy, perform with sincerity. Taray ‘di ba.

Dami ko pang gustong sabihin, heto na naman at naglalaban ang antok at ang pagtatapos nito ng maganda at maayos (yawn).

Para sa mga sagot sa mga tanong at comments niyo, sa next entry ko na po sasagutin (yawn).

Back to school. Back to basics. Back to myself. Back to Back. (Yawn!) Back to Bed.