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teamang_kapamilyucky
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« Reply #946 on: August 09, 2008, 03:54:54 PM » |
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Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion
The FINALISTS :
Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Japan
Miss Philippines
QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....
(Applause!.... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves
QUESTION : And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....becaus e it bows down after every performance.
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...
QUESTION : Chismis???
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..
(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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windstruck
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« Reply #947 on: August 10, 2008, 01:24:35 AM » |
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Ang Buhay ay parang bato...it's Hard. papost lang |
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It’s not always the people with worries that should come to us for help.
Sometimes, we need to be sensitive enough to know when to make the first move. |
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AllenWalker
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« Reply #949 on: August 10, 2008, 03:08:53 AM » |
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Pulis: Bayad ko sa kape, o.
Intsik: Aba, bakit ka bayad?
Pulis: Utos ng police chief namin, wala nang kotong.
Intsik: Aba sige, simula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa kape mo.
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windstruck
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« Reply #950 on: August 10, 2008, 11:40:51 AM » |
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Prospective Employer to Applicant: "So why did you leave your previous job?' Applicant: "The company relocated and they did not tell me where!" papost |
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It’s not always the people with worries that should come to us for help.
Sometimes, we need to be sensitive enough to know when to make the first move. |
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windstruck
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« Reply #952 on: August 11, 2008, 10:40:47 PM » |
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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
...........
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It’s not always the people with worries that should come to us for help.
Sometimes, we need to be sensitive enough to know when to make the first move. |
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teamang_kapamilyucky
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« Reply #953 on: August 11, 2008, 10:43:18 PM » |
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Two nuns.
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight
and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster,
than man with his pants down... |
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windstruck
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« Reply #954 on: August 11, 2008, 11:08:24 PM » |
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BINATA: NFA Rice ka ba? DALAGA: Ha? Bakit? BINATA: Kasi, handa akong pumila at maghintay nang matagal… makuha ka lang! |
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It’s not always the people with worries that should come to us for help.
Sometimes, we need to be sensitive enough to know when to make the first move. |
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windstruck
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« Reply #956 on: August 12, 2008, 07:42:13 PM » |
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Nag-text si Dolfo kay Berto, “Matagal ko nang itinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa ‘yo. Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat , gagawin ko, mapasaya ka lang!” Tuwang-tuwa si Berto na nag-text back, “Akala mo ba, ikaw lang ang nagtatago ng nararamdaman? Ako rin, mahal din kita!” Nag-text uli si Dolfo, “Pareng Berto, wrong send lang ako. Para kay Bebang ‘yon! Ikaw, ha!” |
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It’s not always the people with worries that should come to us for help.
Sometimes, we need to be sensitive enough to know when to make the first move. |
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optimus
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« Reply #957 on: August 14, 2008, 02:28:00 AM » |
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