Last October 19 was Mo Twister's birthday.  Pero walang ingay.  Dumaan na halos hindi naramdaman.

Tungkol dito ang unang nausisa kay Mo nang mapasyal ang PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) kanina sa taping ng Juicy sa studio B ng TV5.  

"Okey lang," aniya.  "Mag-isa lang ako.  It wasn't anything na... nag-celebrate ako or anything na may kasama akong family or special someone.

"Mag-isa lang ako sa bahay.

"It was not a year that I... siguro sa lahat ng mga years ko, eto ang pinaka-mahirap na pinagdaanan ko.

"At parang feeling ko kung magsi-celebrate ako, medyo... you know, I'll just be lying to myself na happy ako or anything.

"It was something na sobrang... wala lang.  Kapag nagri-reflect ako sa isang taon ko na pinagdaanan ko, this [kasalukuyang taon] has been the most difficult I've been through.

"Sana this next one would be better."

Itong taon lang bang ito ang unang pagkakataon na hindi siya nagpa-party o nag-celebrate ng kanyang kaarawan?

"Hindi naman talaga ako nagpapa-party.  I'm not really that type.

"Pero ito talaga 'yong first time na... no'ng nag-12 midnight, parang... walang tumawag.  Walang nag-text.

"Ito 'yong parang araw na... nasa kuwarto lang ako buong araw.

"E 'yong family ko naman, di  ba nasa abroad [U.S.] sila?  So medyo hindi ko sila gaanong nakikita.  Pero at least nakausap ko 'yong iba.

"But that's it.  No big thing.  Walang regalo.  Walang cake. 

"Walang blowing of the candles," medyo nangiting sabi pa ni Mo.

"It was very simple.  Sad... almost.  At... you know, it was fitting for a very difficult year."

NO GREETINGS. Umasa ba siya that there would be some people who used to be special sa puso niya, na magti-text man lang at igi-greet siya ng happy birthday?

"Yeah.  Magti-text or at least tawag  kahit konti.

"Those people who have been part of my life, you.  But unfortunately, I think baka nalimutan lang nila!

"Kung nagtampo ako dahil do'n?  No.  It's a realization na kung sino ba talaga ang... 'yong importante ka sa kanila."

How about his ex-girlfriend na si Rhian Ramos?

"I didn't expect her to call or anything."

Inaasahan niyang deadma na talaga ito?

"No.  You just hope.

"You hope naman na... people would call and stuff like that.  I don't know.

"I was concentrating on just getting the night over with.  Getting the day over with.

"But it has nothing to do with Rhian.  It has nothing to do with my work.  It has nothing to do with me.

"It's just more of getting the day over with."

Since wala siyang natanggap na anumang birthday gift, nagregalo naman ba siya for himself?

"Wala nga, e.  Not this year.

"Usually every year, may magandang bagay na binibili ako para sa sarili ko.  Like sometimes, I'll buy myself a new car or something like that.

"Or anything I've had my eye on.

"But this year was the first year na I didn't buy anything.

"I didn't want to celebrate nga. I've been having a rough time.  And I just wanted to get it over with.

"Now at least, tapos na ang birthday ko.  I can think of other things."

SENSITIVE ABOUT DAUGHTER. Wala rin siyang anumang naging birthday wish?

"No.  No birthday wish.

"It was just more like, uhm... my birthday wish siguro is for my daughter [Moira, anak nila ng dating young actress na si Bunny Paras] to get better.

"She's sick.  And I hope she gets better soon."

Ano ba ang sakit ni Moira?

"Basta she's still sick.  She's not doing very well.  So..."

Nagkausap sila no'ng mismong araw ng birthday niya?

"Of course.  She was the first one.  Binati niya ako ng 'Happy Birthday.'

"Ako... if not araw-araw, very often ko siya tini-text.  And every time, ang sweet-sweet niya.  Naiiyak ako kapag tini-text niya ako.

"I'm very sensitive about my daughter right now.

"And I just hope... siguro my birthday wish is she gets well and she'll have better health."

Wala ba siyang plan na i-invite si Moira to the Philippines and have a short vacation dito na magkasama sila?

"No.  And she's a little sick nga right now.

"Ako na lang ang pumupunta roon [sa States].  I went there naman recently.  Nagkasama kami kahit one day lang.

"And I'm hoping na this Christmas I'll be able to see her again.  I'm going there.  So... we'll see."

He travels a lot.  Pero nitong mismong birthday niya, hindi siya umalis.

"I have a trip sana.  Pero hindi lang natuloy dahil nga medyo busy.  And I'm not in a celebratory mood.

Hindi ba niya naiisip na baka he's being unfair to himself kasi hinahayaan lang niyang maging malungkot sa ngayon ang kanyang buhay?

"No.  My daughter is sick.

"It's not a choice to be happy or sad about that.

"I've gone through a rough year.  And it's not my choice naman to be happy or sad about it.  It's natural.

"I don't want to pretend na things are okay.  Tapos pag sa gabi, matutulog na ako... sad ako.

"Let's be realistic."

CHRISTMAS BLUES. Christmas is fast-approaching na nga.  Inaantabayanan ng iba kung magkaka-lovelife na ulit siya o magiging malamig ang kapaskuhan para sa kanya.

"Lovelife is really the last thing on my mind right now.

"It's nice to have an inspiration.  It would be nice to have someone to say good night to or good morning [to].

"Iyon naman ang habol ko sa relationships na.  Aside from obviously, the dates, dinners, and romance."

Pero hindi naman siya tatandang single, huh?

"No.  No!" natawang reaksiyon ni Mo.

"I'm too much of a romantic I think.  I'm too much of a... sobrang senti ako I think for my age and for my orientation.

"But I don't know kung ilang taong tatagal na loveless ako.  I have no idea.

"I'm still very much trying to recover from my last relationship.  I can say in all honesty that I love Rhian very much.  And I hope for the best for her."

Wala pa ring nagbago?  Hindi pa rin nabawasan kahit katiting 'yong dating pagmamahal na iniukol nga niya kay Rhian?

"Yeah!

"Like I said... I invest a lot in relationships.  And parang you know... it's not that ayokong mag-move on on purpose.  Or ayokong mag-get over.

"It's just... I love passionately.

"And in time it will come," na muli siyang mai-in love ang ibig niyang sabihin.

GIFT FOR RHIAN. Does he plan na magbigay ng gift kay Rhian this Christmas?

"Sure.  Pero kung ano 'yong gift na pinaplano ko... these are the things that I don't wanna share.

"I'm gonna give gifts to a lot of people that mean a lot for me."

Tanggapin naman kaya ni Rhian 'yong Christmas gift na plano niyang ibigay?

"I don't know.  I don't really... I don't wanna say I don't care.

"Parang ang sama naman if I say that.

"But it would not matter to me whether she accepts it or not.  Just as long na I know I gave it in good faith.  And hopefully, I can give gifts to her family na I don't communicate with anymore."

Parang peace offering na rin?

"No.  I'm a gift-giving guy.

"Sobrang mahalaga sa akin ang mga regalo.  Sobrang pinag-iisipan ko.  Sobrang pinaghahandaan ko.  Pinag-iipunan ko."

For himself naman, what does he wants this Christmas?

"I don't know.  I just want to get it over with.  I mean this year has been a tough year.  And next year... tingnan na lang natin.

"I don't really see myself getting into a relationship any time soon.

"I really just want to improve as a person.

"Try to get through... again this has been a very difficult year for me.  It's been a struggle.

He has been going to a therapist regularly for several months, hindi pa ba masasabing he's a better person?

"Honestly, these past weeks have been tough.  I don't think November and December will be easier months for me.

"I'm appreciative kung napapansin ng mga tao that I've changed... Ini-expect ko na November and December will also be a little bit...  a challenge.  I can foresee some of the things I'm gonna be going through na medyo mahirap.

"Ayoko na lang mag-detalye about it.

"But you know, I'm not naman giving up.  I'm not depressed.  Hindi naman ako naglalasing or anything like that.

"I just know that the end of the year is gonna be a difficult time.  It's gonna be a very big challenge.

Nakakaintriga ang gano'ng sinabi ni Mo.  Parang may malaking problema o pagkakagastusan  siyang nakatakdang harapin.  Pero ayaw naman niyang i-specify nga kung ano ito.

JUICY CHANGES TIME. Ang programang Juicy kung saan kasama niya sina Alex Gonzaga, IC Mendoza, Shalala, at Cristy Fermin, nalipat na naman sa hatinggabi ang airing. 11:30 p.m. ito napapanod sa ngayon mula Lunes hanggang Biyernes.

"Ah... again,  TV 5 is still very much in a transition... We're putting up a lot of new shows.

"Nangyayari naman talaga 'yong ganito [pabago-bago ang airtime ng isang programa].  I understand.  I've been in the business for a long time.  I understand that these things happen."

Kung sabagay, basta naman maganda ang show, kahit sa hatinggabi pa umere.

"'Yon nga.  Tama.

"And from our experience sa mga feedback ng viewers namin, mas sikat talaga 'yong evening slot for Juicy.  It fits us very well.

"So just as long na hindi mawala 'yong gabing slot, then I think magiging okay naman 'yong mga tao.

"Juicy is a nice program to relax to before you sleep."