President Rodrigo Duterte delivered his second State of the Nation Address (SONA) earlier today, July 24, 2017.
This year, his speech had the theme "A Comfortable Life for All" and tackled a variety of topics.
According to Communications Secretary Martin Andanar, the original speech was 38 pages long but it has since been compressed to 15 pages that was expected to last for 50 minutes.
In reality, it took President Duterte around two hours to deliver his SONA at the plenary hall of Batasang Pambansa.
Here are some of the funny moments during #SONA2017:
1. President Rodrigo Duterte poked fun at his penchant for being absent
Right at the start of his SONA, the Chief Executive recalled his days as the representative of Davao City's 1st district. He served from 1998 to 2001.
"When I was in Congress, I used to sit there where the woman in a violent...violet dress is seated now.
"I was always absent together with the Speaker and Tonyboy Floirendo [currently Davao del Norte 2nd District Representative] who is still absent until today.
"Nandiyan ba? Sorry.
"His propensity to be absent started almost 17 years ago," he quipped.
2. The Chief Executive reminded audiences about his two families.
He vowed: "I am not planning to extend my term...Mas gusto ko nga barilin ako dun sa likod.
"Pagdating ko, a, l*che! Sakit sa ulo!
"Wala akong pinirmahan na kahit ano, tang*na. I do not sign anything there until now."
He also candidly admitted: "Wala akong allowance except my salary."
Duterte then reminded people that he is supporting two families.
"Tapos dalawang pamilya pa ang maghati."
When people laughed at this, he exclaimed, "Lahat naman tayo!"
"I can count..."
He held up a few fingers to signify the number of patriarchs who have remained faithful with only one family.
"Tayo pa ba maglokohan?
"Ayaw pa tumawa kunwari."
Duterte was referring to his first family with wife Elizabeth Zimmerman and his second family with his current partner Honeylet Avancena.
After 25 years, he and Elizabeth annulled their marriage. They have three children: Paolo (currently Vice Mayor of Davao), Sara (currently Mayor of Davao) and Sebastian (nicknamed Baste).
With Honeylet, he has his youngest daughter Veronica (nicknamed Kitty).
3. He suggested government officials to have their vehicles made bullet-proof.
Duterte said he was almost in danger recently.
"Pati convoy ko, ginamitan yun ng machine gun...
"Pa-armorize niyo, proven yun.
"Minamachine gun na, hindi tatalab. Gago! Pati convoy ko aambushin. Hindi nila alam nakasibat na ako."
The audience clapped at his quip.
It will be recalled that two Presidential Security Group (PSG) vehicles were ambushed in North Cotabato just last July 19.
The encounter took place after President Duterte announced that the government will not resume formal peace talks with the Communist Party of the Philippines unless its rebels stop attacking government troops in Mindanao.
Duterte was not in the convoy when the attack happened. PSG Spokesperson Colonel Mike Aquino said they have reason to believe that the attack was spearheaded by the New People's Army, the armed wing of the Communist Party of the Philippines.
4. Duterte showcased his impersonation skills.
The Philippine President pointed out conflicting statements that he received from the United States government regarding the drug war that he is waging.
He impersonated a representative of President Barack Obama who told him: "I would like to remind the policy of ASEAN [Association of Southeast Asian Nations]," referring to the human rights violations being done in the country.
Duterte also impersonated the way Donald Trump talked to him over the phone recently.
"Pagdating ni Trump...[he told me] 'You're doing it alright.'
"Uuwi na ko, tang*na.
"That's the value of the country you value.
"Hindi ko talaga maintindihan
"It takes an American to say I'm a son of a b*tch and an American to say I'm a hero in our country.
"Saan ako pupunta ngayon?"
PEPsters, what can you say about the SONA of President Rodrigo Duterte?