Ruffa Gutierrez: "Hindi ko na kaya."

IMAGE 0


"Pagdating sa cultural differences, Tito Boy, madali ‘yon 'pag binasa mo,madaling sabihin 'pag nagsalita ka. But you have to actually live it.And one thing na hindi ko maintindihan is ‘yong pananakit nila sa babae," says Ruffa Gutierrez about the culture of her estranged Turkish husband, Yilmaz Bektas.



Binasag na ni Ruffa Gutierrez ang kanyang katahimikan tungkol sa paghihiwalay nila ng asawa niyang si Yilmaz Bektas sa isang exclusive interview ni Boy Abunda sa The Buzz kaninang hapon, May 13.

Matatatandaang noong Martes, May 8, nagulat ang marami nang isiwalat ni Ruffa sa column ni Ricky Lo sa Philippine STAR na nagdesisyon na sila ng kanyang Turkish husband na maghiwalay pagkatapos ng kabuuang pitong taong pagsasama. Unang nagkakilala sina Ruffa noong May 11, 2000 at nagpakasal sila noong March 25, 2003.

Ayon sa joint statament diumano nina Ruffa at Yilmaz, na inilabas ng kampo ni Ruffa sa media, nakasaad dito na walang third party involved sa kanilang paghihiwalay. Ang nakalagay na dahilan ng paghihiwalay nina Ruffa at Yilmaz ay "cultural differences."

Kahapon, May 12, ay nag-email ng kanyang sariling official statement si Yilmaz sa Startalk, ang showbiz talk show ng GMA-7. Sa kanyang statement, pinabulaanan ni Yilmaz na "cultural differences" ang dahilan ng kanilang divorce. Ayon sa kanya, ang "professional career and profession" at ang "extended stay" ni Ruffa sa Pilipinas ang tunay na dahilan ng kanilang desisyon na maghiwalay.

Binanggit din ni Yilmaz sa kanyang statement na ang isa pang dahilan ng kanilang divorce ay isang "materialist relative of her [Ruffa] who take advantage over my wife and who have poor conscience and honor [sic]." Hindi man direktang binanggit kung sino ang tinutukoy ni Yilmaz, malinaw na ang ina ni Ruffa na si Annabelle Rama ang kanyang pinatatamaan.

Sa The Buzz, isa-isang sinagot ni Ruffa ang mga nabanggit na isyu at iba pang mga punto na sinabi ni Yilmaz sa kanyang official statement.

Narito ang kabuuang panayam ni Boy kay Ruffa sa The Buzz:

BOY: Right after your wedding four years ago, ang dami nang speculations. Ayoko lamang palampasin ang pagkakataong ito, pero didiretsahin kita. Did you marry Yilmaz Bektas for his money?
RUFFA: Absolutely not, Tito Boy. Minahal ko at mahal ko si Yilmaz hanggang ngayon. Nakikita n'yo naman ang asawa ko, very charming, guwapo, intelihente, romantic. He really won my heart. At Tito Boy, ever since I was 13, nagtatrabaho ako, may sarili na akong pera. At bago pa dumating si Yilmaz sa buhay ko, maraming nanligaw sa akin—of all shapes, sizes, and colors na mas mayaman pa sa kanya. But my parents didn't bring me up to be that: to marry for money. They didn't bring me up that way. And para sa akin, you know, it's non-negotiable. Si Yilmaz, pinakasalan ko dahil mahal ko.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: Is he a good provider?
RUFFA: Definitely.

BOY: Is he a good father sa inyong mga anak?
RUFFA: Yes. Si Yilmaz ‘yong tipo ng tatay na concerned siya all the time, you know—physically, emotionally, mentally. Iyon talaga, nandiyan siya para sa mga anak ko. He would change the diapers, he would sing to them, he would call to them all the time. He is a good father.

BOY: Ruffa, mabuti ka bang asawa?
RUFFA: Tito Boy, I did my best. I tried my best at masasabi ko na mabuti akong asawa.

BOY: Mabuti ka bang ina?
RUFFA: Of course.

BOY: In the statement of Yilmaz na ipinalabas kahapon sa Startalk, binuksan niya ang kanyang liham sa dalawang points. Sabi niya, the two most important moments in his life—your marriage and your divorce. Comment?
RUFFA: That's true. Para sa akin, noong pinakasalan ko si Yilmaz, you know, I thought he was my soulmate, Tito Boy. You know naman when you get married, you think that you will live happily ever after. That's why you marry somebody. You know, you don't think that you're gonna end up getting divorced. Divorce is always the last option. And you know, kaya ko pinakasalan si Yilmaz when he asked me so many times he proposed, and sabi ko, 'You know, the difference between you and others is that when I first saw you, I knew you were the man that I was going to marry.'"

BOY: Naikuwento mo ‘yan. Pero marami, again, ang haka-haka kung bakit kayo naghiwalay. Isa-isahin natin. May third party daw?
RUFFA: Definitely not. I'm sure nabasa ninyo ‘yong statement ni Yilmaz and he cleared that up. He was loyal. I was loyal. At walang third party involved.

BOY: Pero sobra raw ang selos na namamagitan sa inyong dalawa?
RUFFA: Uhm, totoo, nagseselos si Yilmaz. You know, sometimes he could be jealous for things na hindi talaga dapat. But that's already his nature.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: May nagsasabi na kaya sila naghiwalay ay dahil hindi mo siya nabibigyan ng anak na lalaki?
RUFFA: Hindi totoo ‘yon, Tito Boy. Si Yilmaz, mahal na mahal niya si Lorîn at si Venice. And yet, we were planning to have a third child. I really wanted a boy. Pero para sa kanya, hindi ‘yon. That's not an excuse, you know, to be the reason.

BOY: Ruffa, natatandaan ko kanina sinabi mo divorce is the last option. Do you still love him?
RUFFA: Of course, Tito Boy. With all my heart. Mahal ko siya.

BOY: Mahal ka ba ni Yilmaz?
RUFFA: Sobra-sobra. Up to now, he still calls me ten times a day. Up to now, he still sends...As a matter of fact, last night, sabi niya sa akin, 'Ruffa, whether you like it or not, I'm your future.'"

BOY: So, pagkatapos niyang sabihin ‘yan, itutuloy ninyo pa rin ang paghihiwalay?
RUFFA: As of now Tito Boy, ‘yon ang desisyon ko. Hindi ko masasabi ang future. Only God knows.

BOY: Sabi ni Yilmaz sa kanyang statement, "a divorce is an ultimatum to my wife." Gusto niyang ayusin ang lahat. Pero problema raw ang ilang kapamilya mo. Sinusulsulan ka raw ng mga kapamilya mo?
RUFFA: Hindi totoo ‘yon because I have my own mind. I'm 30 years old, Tito Boy. And my family, thank God they're there. They're strong. My Mom is there. My Dad is there. Mga kapatid ko. Whatever decision I make, they're behind me. Siyempre, sinasabi nila ‘yong feelings nila. Siyempre, they have their own opinions also, but at the end of the day, ako ang magde-decide because it's my life.

BOY: In the statement of Yilmaz, sinabi niya dalawa ang dahilan kung bakit kayo maghihiwalay. Una, you aren't able to show enough attention to your family. Pangalawa, you opted to stay in the Philippines without his consent. At Ruffa, itatanong ko ito dahil ito ang katanungan ng buong bayan, binubugbog ka ba? Sinasaktan ka ba ni Yilmaz Bektas?
(Hindi nagsalita si Ruffa, bagkus ay umiyak siya.)

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: Ruffa, hindi man pinangalanan ni Yilmaz sa kanyang official statement, pero ang aming hula, ang tinutukoy ni Yilmaz na "materialistic relative," ang nagsasamantala sa iyo and "with poor conscience" ay ang iyong ina na si Annabelle [Rama] What do you want to say?
RUFFA: I think my Mom deserves an apology from Yilmaz because from the very beginning naman, my Mom was always supportive of our marriage. Every time mag-away kami ni Yilmaz, my Mom, mas kinakampihan pa si Yilmaz kesa sa akin. And for him to say that, may reason si Mommy kung bakit ayaw akong pabalikin sa Istanbul. She has a valid reason.

BOY: Kung bakit ayaw ka niyang pabalikin? You're going through pain. Marami ang tumatawag. Marami ang nagti-text, giving some pieces of advice. Ano ang nais niyang sabihin?
RUFFA: Sa lahat po ng mga kaibigan ko, sa lahat ng mga nagti-text sa akin, sa lahat po ng nagpapadala ng bulaklak, to all your prayers, maraming, maraming salamat. I know that you'll bear with me. Pero sa mga nagbibigay ng mga unsolicited advice sa akin, Tito Boy, hindi ako nagbabasa ng diyaryo. Kanina lang ako nagbasa ng diyaryo for the last five days. And there are people na akala nila sila si Ruffa, akala nila sila si Yilmaz and they're giving me unsolicited advice. Please stop dahil wala kayo sa bahay namin, wala kayo sa buhay namin. Just pray for me.

BOY: Doon sa statement na ating pinag-uusapan, fame and money. Sabi ni Yilmaz nakakasira ito sa mga bata, sa inyong pamilya.
RUFFA: Tito Boy, para sa akin, fame and money, you know, these are all relative. Para sa akin, tama ‘yong sinabi ni Yilmaz na fame and fortune and ganyan. Pero hindi ‘yon ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito sa Pilipinas. Hindi dahilan na I extended my stay here without his consent because I wanted money and fame, because he's a good provider. Ang sa akin, Tito Boy, balikan natin in the past. Iniwan ko ‘yong career ko sa Hollywood, hindi ko tinapos ang kontrata ko with Century Productions. I met Yilmaz in the middle of the Cannes Film Festival. Kakapirma ko pa lang sa Century Productions noon. Tatlo ang shows ko sa kabilang channel [GMA-7]. Marami akong kinikitang pera, iniwan kong lahat ‘yon para kay Yilmaz. Nagbagong-buhay ako. Nag-convert ako sa Islam. Nagtakip ako ng ulo. Lahat ‘yan ginawa ko for Yilmaz. So, it's unfair for him to stay na na-bored ako at gusto ko lang ‘yong excitement dito sa showbiz.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: Cultural differences. Sabi ni Yilmaz, it's strange. After seven years at saka mo naramdamn ang cultural differences?
RUFFA: Alam mo, Tito Boy, there are things na I will never understand about their culture and there are things that maybe Yilmaz will never understand about our culture. It took me seven years to realize this because alam mo naman tayong mga Pilipino, matiisin tayo, Tito Boy. Hindi naman puwedeng isang taon lang, isang away lang, isang gusot lang, iiwanan mo na ang pamilya mo. Ang daming nanonood sa akin ngayon, Tito Boy, ‘yong mga nanay, ‘yong mga may asawa, 30 years, nagtitiis pa rin sila for the sake of their kids, for the sake of their family. At pagdating sa cultural differences, Tito Boy, madali ‘yon pag binasa mo, madaling sabihin pag nagsalita ka. But you have to actually live it. And one thing na hindi ko maintindihan is ‘yong pananakit nila sa babae. (Muling umiyak si Ruffa.)

BOY: Ididiretso ko na ang tanong? Sinasaktan ka ba? Binubugbog ka ba ni Yilmaz? (Hindi ulit sumagot si Ruffa habang umiiyak.)

BOY: I'm sorry, Ruffa. Babalik ka ba sa Istanbul?
RUFFA: No, Tito Boy, Philippines is my home and I'm staying here. And I'm not going back.

BOY: How much did you try to save your marriage?
RUFFA: Tito Boy, I really, really tried. God knows I tried. You know, kung pagmamahal lang, puwede akong bumalik. Pero may prinsipyo rin ako.

BOY: Gaano mo kabilis narating ang desisyon na ayoko na?
RUFFA: Alam mo, Tito Boy, bago pa makarating sa stage na ‘to, matagal. Matagal na proseso. Hindi lang isang away.

BOY: Hindi totoo na hindi ka nag-soul searching according to the statement of Yilma?
RUFFA: Gabi-gabi ako nagso-soul searching. Gabi-gabi umiiyak ako. Sinasabi nila before, you know, si Ruffa magaling magtago ng problema. Plastik siya. What am I gonna do? I have to be safe for my kids. I can't take drugs and, you know, mag-iiyak ako. Meron akong dalawang bata, meron akong dalawang anak. I have to be strong for them.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: In the same statement of Yilmaz, sinabi niya na dalawa lamang ang dahilan kaya kayo magdi-divorce. Una, you are unable to show enough attention to your family. At ang pangalawa, you opted to stay without his consent. Comment. Say what you want.
RUFFA: It's not true. Hindi ko na kaya, Tito Boy.

BOY: Ruffa, ise-segue ko lang ang tanong na ito. Napaka-aktibo mo dito sa Pilipinas ngayon. You have a lot of endorsements. Hindi ba maaapektuhan ang iyong mga endorsements nitong paghihiwalay ninyo? You have morality clauses to settle?
RUFFA: Alam mo, Tito Boy, I'm very thankful at gusto kong pasalamat lahat ng endorsements ko, lalung-lalo na ang Nido. Actually, I was really worried kasi that's a family product, that's a milk. And you know, I was very touched nga nagpadala sila ng flowers. Ang Pantene, you know, they wanted to take me out for a dinner. Tapos ang Calayan, they're all behind me. They're gonna hold my hand and they honor my pain.

BOY: Ruffa, I'm sorry to ask you this question. Para malinaw lang sa mga nanonood sa atin dahil ang pinag-uusapan, bakit sila maghihiwalay? They love each other passionately. Just say no. Binubugbog ka ba? Sinasaktan ka ba? Pisikal ka bang sinaskatan ni Yilmaz?

(Hindi pa rin sumagot si Ruffa at umiyak na lang ulit.)

BOY: Ruffa, ganito na lang. Bakit ayaw mo na? Bakit ayaw mo nang balikan ang marriage na ‘to?
RUFFA: Hindi ko na kaya. Only God knows what's gonna happen in the future. And only God can change it. But as of now, ‘yon ang desisyon ko.

BOY: Ruffa, it's Mother's Day. Sabi ko nga, doon sa official statement ni Yilmaz, hindi man pinangalanan, pero mukhang ang pinatatamaan ay si Annabelle. Pay tribute to your mother.
RUFFA: Alam mo, Ma, there are times in the past na hindi ako nakinig sa ‘yo. There are times in the past na sinaktan kita dahil matigas ang ulo ko. But you know, for what everything that happened to me, I know that you're right. I don't care what people say na mataray ka, matapobre ka, mayabang ka, you're my mother and I love you. And if I didn't have a mother as strong as you, wala ako dito ngayon kaharap si Tito Boy, kaharap kayo. So, I just wanna wish you a Happy Mother's Day and I love you.

Alam mo, Tito Boy, mahal na mahal ko ang mga anak ko. Mawala na ang asawa ko, mawala na ang career ko, mawala nang lahat, huwag lang mga anak ko. For me, they're my saviors. And I know, Yilmaz wants to be a good father to them. I will also be the best mother for them. Iyon ang priority ko ngayon. I will make sure that my kids will honor their father and their mother also, kasi that's what written in the Bible, Tito Boy. And after all, Yilmaz is the father of my kids. Maganda ang pinagsamahan namin, seven years. Kailangan respetuhin ko pa rin siya at kailangang respetuhin ng mga anak ko si Yilmaz because he's their father.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

BOY: Ano ang nais mong sabihin sa iyong dalawang anak [Lorîn and Venice]?
RUFFA: I want them to know that I love them. That I'm here for them and there are so many people that love them—ako, pamilya ko, si Yilmaz, at ang pamilya ni Yilmaz.



BOY: Message for Yilmaz. I'm sure he's watching.
RUFFA: Tito Boy, I still call him Lovey, e, so I will call him Lovey. Lovey, you know, we've been through seven years together and you know, if you don't know why we're going through this, I know one day you will understand why I'm doing this. Not for me, not for you, but for our kids. And always remember whatever happens, even if we live separately, that I always love you and you're always be in my heart. Thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for the love and like I said, Tito Boy, ayoko munang tuldukan. But with God, anything is possible. So, sana sa mga kaibigan ko at sa mga nagmamahal sa akin, just pray for me that I will be able to go through this. I'm a strong person Tito Boy, e. Marami na ang nagdaan sa buhay ko. Nakayanan ko ‘yon kaya alam ko makakayanan ko rin ito.


WE RECOMMEND


FROM THE SUMMIT MEDIA NETWORK


SPONSORED CONTENT


COMMENTS

Loading comments

THIS JUST IN