The start of 2010 may have been joyful for many people in show business but the same could not be said for veteran actress Snooky Serna.
Five days after the start of the new year, Snooky's mom Mila Ocampo died due to emphysema leading to cardiac arrest.
January 10, four days after Mila's passing, Snooky poured out her innermost feelings about her mother who had stood by her through thick and thin.
In a live interview with Pia Guanio of Showbiz Central, Snooky related how she would now face life without her mom by her side.
Snooky revealed that she had taken lessons in CPR or cardiopulmonary resuscitation in the past and had attempted to revive her mom using this technique.
"I tried to do that on her kaya lang natakot ako kasi she was super frail," explained Snooky. "Skin and bones na talaga siya—she went down to 72 pounds. Hindi naman siya maliit na babae. She was 5'5". Noong na-feel ko na sa area ng lung niya or just below the lung parang nalambot na, feeling ko isa pang pump, e baka mag-crack na."
Snooky said she felt oblivious to everyone and everything around her as she tried to revive her mother, "in any way that you can..." she ended. When faced with the reality that their mother was no longer responding to Snooky's attempts, her brothers stepped in to do what they could.
"Doon na kami nag-break down lahat," said Snooky, "lalo na ako... ako na talagang halos magwala..."
LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP. Snooky admitted that her relationship with her mom wasn't always smooth. They had in fact had an argument just two weeks ago.
"It was a sort of argument because hindi kasi ako sanay na makita ang mama ko na nanglalata," said Snooky. "Very active and agile siyang babae. Kung ano ang pinaghihinay-hinay ko, e, si mama maliksi. She is also strong-willed.
"But during her last month, talagang ang laki ng dineteriorate ng will niya at ang laki ng nawala sa will power niya... Parang nag-reversal of roles kami na this time ako naman si mommy ko."
Her mom's frailty led to her admitting to Snooky that her disease was tiring her out.
"Sabi nga niya na para daw siyang pinaparusahan," added Snooky. "'Gusto ko na mamatay. Hirap na hirap na ako, anak.' Ako naman e, 'Mommy, laban! Nasaan ang Mila Ocampo na kilala ko? Kailangan matapang ka, Mommy! Ikaw ang nagtuturo sa akin niyan!' Parang nagtataray-taray ako kuno, but actually nakakahiya sa Mommy."
This was just one of the arguments they'd had between them. Did they ever have an argument that divided them for some time?
"Iyong time na nag-asawa kami ni Richard [Ricardo Cepeda]," said Snooky. "Kasi si Mommy kasi loves me too much that in retrospect, e... feeling ko noong araw parang nasasakal ako. But then pag nanay ka na din, e doon mo ma-realize ang halaga ng isang tao pag wala na. Tama lang pala na sobra siyang strict. Matigas lang ulo ko noon."
Snooky is thankful that she was able to tell her mom that she loved her before she passed on. She feels, however, that she could have done more to express her love for her. It is one of her regrets. Is it hard to bear, especially with her mother's cremation two days ago (January 9)?
"Oo," she said. "Pero sa family namin we use our sense of humor to get over the tragedies in life. Noong una, tawanan pa kami, pero noong napasok na siya sa room where she was going to be cremated, ang sama na ng loob ko at pumasok sa utak ko na wala na talaga siya... hindi ko na siya mayayakap, hindi ko na siya maiiyakan pag may problema ako.
"My mom is my best friend no matter how much we fight and make up."
Snooky then took the opportunity to remind everyone—especially the younger generation—to be grateful for their moms. "Pahalagaan ninyo ang mga ina niyo because iba ang pagmamahal ng ina," she said.
"I feel such a loss," Snooky suddenly said. "Parang nawalan ako ng kalahati ng katawan ko. But I'm thankful to God because I know by faith that she is in a better place now."