As she rejoins the "single market," Nikki Gil is filled with confidence and optimism that one day she will find love again.
"Yes, I’m enjoying," she says about the single life.
The PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) spoke to the new endorser of clothing brand Maldita, in an interview on November 6.
"Of course, I’m not saying it to convince myself that I am.
"Siyempre, I’m a very—I think, ha—I'm a nurturing person.
"Coming from a five year relationship, I’m used to being half of a couple and... ano, maybe taking care of another person.
"Of course, there’s that, but it’s the feeling of being a partner that I miss.
"Not that particular season of my life, but I am enjoying being single.
"I like going out. I like dating, fixing up, and dating. I like meeting different people. Na-e-enjoy ko siya."
But is she really ready to fall in love again?
“To fall in love? Grabe naman iyong fall in love!
“You know, hindi ko alam, e, kasi hindi mo naman mata-timing-an iyon, e.
“Hindi rin naman ako iyong tipong person na jump kaagad to the next, because, you know, you can hurt people that way, and I don’t wanna hurt people.
“So, me, we’ll see. I’m not closing my doors.
"I’m letting God write my love story right now, because I once upon a time took control of it and that didn’t work out well,” Nikki confesses.
THE NEXT GUY. After her painful breakup with Billy Crawford, Nikki is more careful now about the men she dates.
For her next relationship, Nikki hopes to find a guy who is, “First and foremost, is a man of God.
“Someone who loves God more than he would love me, clearly, and I want someone… the usual.
"I mean, I've always had this checklist anyway: we have to have the same values, and you have to trust the person, and, yeah, the same Christian perspective.”
As with any relationship, trust is always a major ingredient to make it work.
In Nikki's case, will she be more particular about not dating a guy who resembles her ex-boyfriend's traits?
“We’ll see!” she exclaimed with a hearty laugh.
“No, but… parang no, because that would be unfair for the next person, if I brought my baggage from the last relationship to the new one.
“I really wanna start on a clean slate and, you know, I’m not…
"I’m thankful that I didn’t go through that man-hater stage na, ‘Pare-pareho lang sila! They’re all the same!’ Iyong gano'ng stage.
“Parang for me, that’s just… It happens. It just happened that mine, my heartbreak, was publicized and scrutinized by the public. Iyon lang naman iyon.
"But I’m not closing my doors. God has his own time frame, and He can heal your heart in like that [one snap].
"It can take longer, it can take, you know… so I’m just really going with the flow.”
LESSONS LEARNED. After what she’s been through, Nikki emerges more insightful.
“Siyempre, na-realize ko kung sino ang mga tunay kong kaibigan. Ganyan naman 'yan.
“I learned kung sino ang mga genuinely concerned, kung sino iyong genuinely after my welfare, and who wants to take advantage of it.”
Nikki named her fellow actresses Iya Villania and Shaina Magdayao as the two closest friends she was able to count on during her dark days.
“I also learned that there are times when you just have to keep quiet.
"There are things that you just don’t discuss, there are things that, you know, you just keep to yourself.
“And, for me kasi, as much as I know that kasama sa trabaho ko iyong ibahagi iyong aking personal na buhay, na-realize ko din naman na people will respect you if you chose to keep it to yourself.
“Parang—and I’ve been very grateful to my friends from the press for respecting that—there’s a time when you can openly discuss it.
“Parang ngayon, puwede na, kasi I’m looking at it from a malayu-layong perspective na, from medyo outsider’s point of view na. And I think, of course, I’m less emotional about it,” she shares.
Ultimately, Nikki says she has learned this about love: “Love is a choice.
"I know it’s a very pragmatic view on love, but I really think that it’s a choice.
“It’s not a feeling, because a feeling goes away, and that’s not love.”