The Don'ts of Moving On, according to Karylle, Rachel Alejandro, Venus Raj, and Bianca Manalo

IMAGE Noel Orsal

Rachel Alejandro (top) and Venus Raj both believe that entering a new relationship right after a breakup does not usually work. The latter underlined, “…antayin lang natin kasi kapag minadali natin magkakamali at magkakamali tayo, e.”


Why is it so hard to move on from a failed relationship?

That’s because most people tend to do things they shouldn’t.

Like venting your hurt and railing against your ex in social media.

Karylle said, “It’s nice you can express it.

“I mean it’s not parang something to be ashamed about.

“But it’s not nice to stay there forever also and get stuck.”

Now that’s the first DON’T: Don’t get stuck.

Rachel Alejandro said life should go on.

"A heartache is a good opportunity for you to take stock of what else you have going for you, things you should go after…"

Here are nine more things heartbroken people should NOT do when moving on from a breakup.

2. Don’t ever say “hindi mo kaya.”

Kapamilya star Bianca Manalo assured it’s just a phase.

You hear this from people who've been there, “Lilipas din iyan.”

Pay heed.

Bianca affirmed, "Tignan mo, di ngayon, okay na okay na ako e di okay na ako."


3. Don’t force yourself to be okay.

Rachel said it’s normal to feel the sadness.

“…I am the kind of person na when I am so hurt, hindi muna ako makanood ng sine, hindi muna ako maka-do anything fun!"


4. Don’t stop living.

Some people just lose their interest in a lot of things.

Rachel elaborated, "Hindi na papasok, hindi na pupunta sa trabaho...”

Without sounding condescending, she underlined there are healthy ways of moving on.


5. Don’t do drugs. Don’t turn drinking into a habit. Don’t self-destruct.

Rachel related, “I don't drink, get drunk.

“I have never taken drugs to solve a problem.

“And I am not saying I don't drink, I do drink but I don't drink to solve a problem."

Ever the health advocate, For The Sexy Chef author said drinking spirits is reserved for celebration.

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"Kung masaya, I drink. For me kasi kung uminom ka and malungkot ka, it's gonna make it worse."

Unlike in the movies or TV series where problematic people are depicted with a bottle in hand, Rachel remarked, "After the buzz is gone then you're faced with a hangover, you wanna kill yourself even more."


6. Don’t be friends with your ex right away.

Most people say it’s easier to get past that sad feeling if you cut the communication lines—delete contact numbers, block social media accounts.

Eventually, Bianca said, friendship may be on the horizon.

In her case, "Yung seven years ko, friends kami, kasi matagal kami, e."

But it will take time.

7. Don’t keep a memorabilia of your ex.

Bianca said it’s a “no-no.”

The former beauty queen resumed, “I believe unfair yun sa magiging next relationship ko.

"Lagi akong ganoon. Every time.

“Bago pa kami magkaroon ng final closure nung last ko, I deleted everything.

“Kasi tinanggap ko sa sarili ko na hindi na kayo magkakaayos.”


8. Don’t push for "balikan."

To some, it works. For Bianca, “Huwag mo siyang babalikan.

“Huwag na huwag mo siyang babalikan. No."

She further explained, “The temptation na balikan yung ex is normal.

"Darating yun pag nalungkot ka.

“Pero you have to fight for it, fight it, fight the feeling.”

Her mantra, “Lagi kang long-term, long-term."

What does she mean?

"O, babalikan mo? Magiging masaya ka? How many months ulit bago mangyari ulit ‘yan,” referring to another heartbreak.

“Long-term," she reminded.

She said she'd been burned too often because her heart did the thinking for her.

"Dumating ako sa point na puro puso, puso, puso. Hanggang sa biglang inisip ko, tama na, tama na. Ako naman muna."


9. Don’t get into a rebound relationship.

Rachel is totally against entering a new relationship right away.

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"I am gonna go out and meet a new guy, minsan that's worse."

She does have friends who ended up in rebound relationships, "Sometimes, yun talaga ang nagkakatuluyan," but for her, it was never like that.

"It's always been na when I feel bad about my lovelife, then I'll work on something else."


10. Do not rush love.

Venus Raj believes in perfect timing.

“Hindi ko siya hinahanap. Alam ko kasi kung darating ‘yan pag will na ni Lord.

“Kung ano yung will ni Lord, antayin lang natin kasi kapag minadali natin magkakamali at magkakamali tayo, e.

“Sana antay lang ng tamang oras na ibibigay ni Lord.”

READ The Do's of Moving On, according to Karylle, Rachel Alejandro, Venus Raj, Bianca Manalo


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