Why Maricar Reyes considers "harmless" text messages a form of cheating

IMAGE maricareyespoon / Instagram

Maricar Reyes recalls a past experience when she realized that a seemingly harmless exchange of text messages can actually become a threat to her relationship.


Keeping a marriage afloat requires team effort, and both Maricar Reyes and Richard Poon know this to be true.

It is unfortunate that some couples break up because of a third party.

Maricar points out in her latest blog entry on RelationshipMatters.ph that cheating sometimes begins with seemingly-harmless acts.

A post shared by Maricar Reyes-Poon (@maricareyespoon) on

Maricar looks back on a past experience when she unwittingly committed “emotional cheating.”

She writes, “Years ago, I had a boyfriend and our relationship was having problems.

“Then a common friend introduced me to Steve (not his real name) at a party.

“I enjoyed talking to Steve that night, relieved to be away from the problems I had with my boyfriend.

“Days after, we exchanged some ‘harmless’ messages: ‘Stuck in traffic! What u doing?’, ‘Hey I just passed by your school!’ , ‘Know any good restos in QC?’ , ‘Bored! ‘Musta?’

“I didn’t want to admit it back then, but Steve’s messages weren’t ordinary to me. 

“May konting kilig, so I felt guilty.

“I’d make myself feel better by thinking, ‘I’m not doing anything wrong. Steve is just a friend.’”

But that kind of self-excuse is already a sign of emotional cheating.

Maricar continues, “I looked forward to Steve’s messages more than my boyfriend’s.

“I was becoming emotionally tangled with Steve.

“Looking back, this wasn’t as harmless as I thought.

“Would I be OK if my boyfriend was exchanging messages with a girl that he had some ‘kilig’ for?

“It’s absolutely NOT OK…

“Today, stories like mine remind Richard and I of how vulnerable we are to feel-good emotions like kilig…”

Given this, Maricar and Richard have been their at their best “to guard each other against increasing levels of emotional attachment to another person, especially in a committed relationship.”

Whenever one of them finds someone “attractive,” they tell each other.

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“Admitting the truth makes the kilig emotions less powerful. Hiding it from each other makes them stronger!

"(Secrets —> more mystery —> more kilig!)

“We also help each other keep our distance, and make sure we don’t have long conversations alone with the ‘attractive’ person.”


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