More than two weeks after Heart Evangelista announced she lost her surviving twin in the womb, she tells her fans through a live session on Instagram today, June 22, that she's "much, much better."
The Kapuso actress thanks her fans, briefly relating how she has been dealing with her pain and announcing that she will be taking a break from showbiz.
There are not enough words to express how heavy my heart feels but I know it’s important to share this because it’s part of my motherhood journey. At this week’s Doctor appointment, just as we hit the 3 month mark, we found out that her heart stopped beating. For some it might be early on but for us, we were so ready to meet you, little one. Carrying you made me feel like a completely new person. Just the thought of you taught me what unconditional love feels like. The Doctor told me that there really wasn’t anything we could’ve done, that this happens to a higher percentage of first time moms. I know this is true because so many of you have been open with sharing your experiences. Your kindness and positivity in sharing about your own miscarriages remind me to be strong. I am so grateful for all your love throughout this entire journey. It’s not the end, just another chapter. I take comfort knowing that you’re up there with your twin. I don’t question God about this sad time, I trust in His timing and plan. I hope you all understand that I’ll be taking some time off but your support and kind words will be felt, even if I’m not able to reply. I’m not looking for answers, just peace. For what it’s worth, I already had a name for you. My Mira, funnily enough, I already loved your smile. I know you’ll find your way back to me.
She begins her eight-minute session explaining why she has not been posting updates on Instagram since June 6.
"I feel like I just really need to take a break and, you know, like reset, step away from social media.
"I want take this opportunity to say thank you so much to everyone that sent me flowers, wrote letters, and everybody who felt, made me feel love at such a difficult time."
She is also touched by the direct messages of her followers, especially the moms who consoled her.
One thing she learned from them was: Miscarriage is "pretty common" among first-time moms.
She adds, "One out of five...It happens a lot."
Though she's “not fully comfortable” sharing what happened to her baby, Heart assures her fans that she's okay.
The Kapuso actress describes the episode as "the most difficult thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life."
Teary-eyed, she recounts, "It’s extremely painful, confusing at times, but everything has [a] reason and you have to be positive. You just have to trust in God that it’s gonna be okay, and that He has such a better plan.
"I’ve always been very prayerful, I’ve always trusted God with what He has planned for us."
REALIZATIONS. During her period of grief, she learned to appreciate what she has, and realized that storms are part of every person's journey.
"I was humbled. That I’m such a planner with my life but at the end of the day, it’s still what God’s want for you, and I get that, and I accept that.
"And I’m grateful because I know He wants the best for all of us.
"Going through this whole storm, I realized that too much sunshine will wither you, and that sometimes, you need to go through the rain, the storm so you witness God’s power and God’s love and how He lives, how He is real, and how He is gonna make you feel so much better.
"And you will see that it’s gonna be amazing, it’s gonna be epic."
Heart is set to take a short break from showbiz.
The wife of Senator Chiz Escudero says, "My husband has you know decided for me that I should leave the country and take a breather, take a break.
"I’ve been staying home. Since the day I found out, I haven’t been out."
But she has started to "move forward," and she's "hopeful and very positive...that in His time it will happen."
Smiling, she remarks, "I’m gonna be a better mother in the future."
In the meantime, "Start moving forward and wait for that rainbow to show up," Heart says.