Jolina Magdangal proud of laging-bitbit-ang-anak parenting style

by FM Ganal
Nov 4, 2019
Jolina Magdangal encourages parents to spend most of their time with their kids as it is the best way to form a deep connection with them. Also in photo: Mark Escueta (R) and their kids Pele and Vika.
PHOTO/S: @mariajolina_ig on Instagram

If there is one parenting lesson that Jolina Magdangal takes to heart, it is the lesson of spending quality time with children.

Hence, her parenting style is more of authoritative, based on psychologist Diane Baumrind's studies. The other styles are authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.

Jolina believes in being an attentive and a responsive parent, and here are her essentials.

1. TIME

To do this, she gives her children time—a lot of it.

"Isa iyan sa mga natutunan ko na lagi kong shini-share kapag merong mga ganitong usapan," the ABS-CBN host-actress tells the media at the launch of Tiger Biscuits newest campaign Unveil #InnerSrength on October 29.

Jolina remembers a talk she attended at her son Pele's school.

She says, "Nung time na Kinder 1 si Pele, may talk doon sa school nila. Nung nagkukuwento iyong founder ng school, talagang pigil na pigil ako pero naiiyak talaga ako... Ang sinabi nung founder, 'Ang spelling talaga ng love sa anak ay T-I-M-E. Time.'"

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The Magandang Buhay host admits there was a time when she felt people were judging her for spending too much time with her son.

"Kasama ko siya palagi kasi bini-breastfeed ko si Pele. 'Tapos iyong iba, tingin nila sa akin, 'Lagi naman kasama iyong anak.' Laging may ganon."

Jolina continues, "Pero sa aming mag-asawa, lagi namin pinag-uusapan, sabi ko, 'Papa, paano kapag sinabi nila ganyan?'

"'Tapos sabi ng asawa ko, 'Huwag mo silang intindihin kasi ang gusto natin ay may time lagi tayo sa anak and ma-feel niya na kampi [tayo sa kanya].'

"'Tapos nung narinig ko iyon sa founder, sabi ko talaga, 'Tama iyong nagawa ko bilang nanay.'"

Jolina's reward is seeing Pele grow into a well-behaved boy.

"Nakikita ko na okay si Pele bilang individual. And ang makakapagpabusog pa sa puso ko ay hindi iyong nakikita mong okay siya, e. Kapag nakakarinig ako sa ibang parents na, 'Ang bait ng anak mo.' 'Talaga ba? Ang kulit nga niyan, e.' 'Hindi, napakamasunurin niyan.' May ganon.

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"Kaya talagang, 'Papa, buti na lang binigyan natin ng time si Pele.'"

Jolina and husband Mark Escueta have two kids: Pele, 5, and Vika, 1.

2. Communication

Aside from having quality time with kids, Jolina has learned that talking to them is a simple but effective way to build a solid relationship.

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She says, "Kausapin lang nang kausapin. Makakausap mo na talaga.

"Akala ko dati nung dalaga pa ako, kapag may nakikita akong mommy 'tapos bata yung kinakausap niya, sinasabi ko, 'Naiintindihan na kaya niya iyon?'

"Pero nung nagkaanak ako, ang liit pa lang ni Pele, akala ko hindi ako pinapakinggan… pero nagulat ako after isang incident, bigla niya gagawin iyong sinasabi ko. So, nakinig siya at na-absorb niya.

"Basta kausapin mo lang nang kausapin. Makakausap mo na talaga."

3. ATTENTION

Paying attention to his needs and interests is also important because she wants Pele to do and pursue things he likes.

"Si Pele kasi, kapag nakikita ko na kapag pinipilit siya gawin iyong mga bagay na parang hindi pa siya comfortable...

"Makikita mo kasi kay Pele sa mata niya kung interesado siya doon, e. 'Tapos magtatanong siya na magtatanong. Pero kapag hindi masyado, hindi ko na siya pipilitin pa doon.

"Like ngayon, meron silang ginagawa na online videos na magme-memorize siya ng kanta. Ayoko siyang pinipilit kung ano gusto niya.

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"Basta ipe-play ko lang iyong music, 'tapos mame-memorize na niya iyon. Pero kung alam ko naman na gusto niya, aaralin namin iyong lines."

4. NO COMPARISON, PLEASE!

Jolina also makes sure to not compare her son to other kids.

"Hindi ko siya kino-compare sa ibang bata. Hindi ko sinasabi na, 'O siya, ang galing mag-smile, e ikaw?' Hindi ko ginaganon.

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"Lagi kong sinasabi, 'You did good there, Pele. Very good ka doon, pero mas dagdagan natin next time iyong mga ganon.'"

With Pele now in Kinder 2, Jolina knows how important it is to be an ally to her kid.

"Kahit gusto ko man bantayan sa school, hindi naman puwede, di ba? So, kailangan sa bahay pa lang, physically and emotionally equipped na sila. And saan ba magmumula iyon? Di ba, sa ating parents and saka sa loob ng bahay? At tayo iyong example para sa kanila."

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Jolina Magdangal encourages parents to spend most of their time with their kids as it is the best way to form a deep connection with them. Also in photo: Mark Escueta (R) and their kids Pele and Vika.
PHOTO/S: @mariajolina_ig on Instagram
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