Was John Lloyd Cruz ever ready to become a father?
His short and honest answer: "Hindi!"
The question was asked by broadcast journalist Karen Davila in her interview with the actor during the pilot episode of The Karen Davila Podcast on Spotify last Thursday, July 24, 2021.
John Lloyd said he has always wanted to have a child of his own, but now that he has Elias, his three-year-old son with former girlfriend Ellen Adarna, it has only made him realize how unprepared he is for fatherhood.
He explained, "Tingin ko, isang bagay siya na akala mo ready ka because you wanted it. Wow! You're so dumb!
"We like to believe na we're in control. We like that idea, e, na, 'Hindi, it's my plan. Plinano ko iyan!'
"It took me a while na para matanggap na akala mo ginusto mo, akala mo plinano mo.
"In reality, especially ngayon after tatlong taon, iba, e. And it won't be as humbling kung talagang naplano mo.
"Paano mo naplano yung ganoong bagay kasi it's beyond words describing how to... being a father, especially nung lumabas siya.
"And there's no way na merong tao na naplano yung ganoon, ganoon ka-weird, and ganoon ka-radikal na bagay na, 'That's a life!'
"Buhay yung lumabas because of your responsibility."
John Lloyd clarified fatherhood does not faze him, but admitted being overwhelmed by the nittty-gritty of parenting.
The 38-year-old celebrity dad told Karen, "Hindi, I didn't get scared at all. I was scared to admit na parang, 'Uy!' Medyo... It's a little bit too much than what I expected, pero yun yata yun, e. I think that's the whole essence of it."
All his hesitation, however, is upended by the exhilaration of having Elias in his life.
John Lloyd said, "Probably the most fascinating thing in my life right now, what I'm learning from him, what I'm learning about him, galing, e.
"Maging ano ka, you'll submit to it."
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The actor grew up in a strict household and it has served him well as an adult.
But as a parent, John Lloyd is breaking away from all that, vowing firm guidance without being imposing.
He said, "As a father, ako, simple lang, I guess. I want to lead without imposing.
"Dito lang ako on the side. I'm not gonna dictate on you.
"If anything, yun yung gusto kong ma-hone niya, e, na I want him to think for himself."
Most of all, John Lloyd wants his son to always remember that the day he was born was a beautiful day like no other for his father.
He beamed, "Parang gusto ko lang makita niya and hindi mawala sa kanya na yung timing niya sa buhay ko, napakaganda...
"Gusto ko lang malaman niya na kasi parang napansin ko, habang tumatanda na ako, parang siyempre nagiging cynical na tayo and jaded about life.
"Parang we tend to forget yung mga early days natin on this earth na parang you were such a blessing. Di ba? Somehow, it fades away, e."
Answering Karen's question how actively involved he is as a parent to Elias, John Lloyd said, "Not as much as I want to.
"I am sharing him with the mother and, siyempre, mas nag-i-spend time yung dalawa."
It was Ellen's reply to one of her Instagram followers who asked if Elias gets to spend some time with John Lloyd.
Ellen said, "Yes, he does. Hatid-sundo na siya si ang papa di ni, 'Day [Hatid-sundo siya ng papa niya, 'Day].
"Si John Lloyd, present father. He wants to be present. He needs his father, as much as he needs me."
Before Ellen returned to Metro Manila indefinitely, she and Elias were based in Cebu. They are currently staying at their home in Muntinlupa City.
John Lloyd and Ellen separated in mid-2019, and have been co-parenting Elias since then.