Versatile actress Carmi Martin openly shared the reason why she is still single in an exclusive interview with PEP (Philippine Entertainment Portal) after taping for her new sitcom TV5's MyDSL: My Driver Sweet Lover at Sanctuary Village in Mandaluyong City.
She plays the role of an orphanage caretaker who will have a conflict with one of the lead roles, played by Danita Paner.
Asked about the status of her lovelife, Carmi said she is not seeing anyone at the moment. She added, "Alam mo, minsan nga parang nakakaiyak, kasi that is my greatest dream, to have my own family," she said.
"I am still hoping that it will happen," the 46-year-old actress said.
She went on and shared some learning from her church, "Parang 'yun ang ginagawa ko, eh, while waiting for something that you really like, you feel the empty jars that are surrounding you.
"Meaning to say, use your talent. Don't just sit there and wait parang feeling miserable. Kasi, sometimes, we feel miserable and desperate, di ba?"
Carmi admitted that there are times when she can't help but worry. "Kaya lang, minsan nagiging scary, parang ang nakikita ko ngayon, just like other women, mahirap humanap, most especially here in the Philippines.
"Parang ang dami 'atang either married, o ang gusto niya to marry another man, or babaero, o, masama ang ugali," Carmi sighed.
Carmi related that her experiences in previous relationships made her cautious in giving her heart away.
"It's the way I look at it, baka kasi ang hinahanap nila 'yung challenging ganyan, ganyan." Carmi said that she oftentimes has second thoughts about the true intentions of her suitors.
And then she added, "...pagka andun naman 'yung mabait, feeling ko boring!" Carmi burst out in a resounding laugh.
She said her friends tell her she may be afraid of commitment.
"My friends are saying, 'Alam mo, tingin namin sa 'yo, ganyan ganyan ka lang,' pero mukha daw akong takot mag -asawa. Kasi, even in our bible studies pag naririnig ko na 'yong mga hinanakit ng mga misis, 'Naku ano ba iyan, ayaw ko marinig iyan!'"
Whimsically she confessed, "Pero, I'm still dreaming, I'm still hoping, kasi ang gusto ko, eh, something. Nothing is permanent here in our world. But, I want something semi- permanent, someone who will be with you 'till the end of your life.
YOUNGER SUITORS. Carmi stressed that she just can't see herself dating younger guys .
"Pag may nanliligaw sa akin na mga bagets, iba-iba iniisip ko. Iniisip ko, 'Ano iisipin ng mga tao?' Pangalawa, ayaw ko din na parang ako pa yung magpro-provide!" Carmi exclaimed.
She recalled incidents when young suitors would call her and cry on the phone, "Minsan tatawag lang tapos makikita mo, umiiyak na!"
How then does she manage them?
"Sinasabihan ko na lang talaga na, "Magkaibigan nalang tayo, ha," Carmi said, adding, "Ewan ko, kasi pag tumatatawag [referring to suitors], naiinis ako, kasi parang I feel na they also want something in me."
However, Carmi admitted that she also has problems with guys who she thinks are better than herself.
"Kunwari, yung guy naman is very magaling siya, ganyan-ganyan. Papasok naman yung insecurity ko, baka ako naman iwan. Parang I'm really attracted to someone na just right," she said.
BACK TO SCHOOL. Carmi went back to school for a degree in Interior Design at the Philippine Women's University. She had already finished a course in the same field at the Philippine School of Interior Design. She hopes to acquire an interior design license by next year.
Why did she take up interior design?
Without batting an eyelash, she said, "I really like beautiful houses. It interests me na maganda yung mga nakikita ko."
She recalled an incident that encouraged her to go into formal training. "Then when I fixed my unit dun sa Galleria, nung nagpunta sila [close friends], they thought I hired a designer. Sabi ko, 'Hindi', tapos they said they also like yung mga choices of colors, so my friend, Tessie Tomas encouraged me to go back to school."
Carmi likes minimalist designs. "Mas madaling mag-isip, ayaw ko kasi ng cluttered," she explained.
She likes the designs of hotel rooms. "Gusto ko, when I'm home, parang hotel, ganun."
INDEPENDENT WOMAN. The years have been kind to Carmi. Asked how she manages to maintain her figure, Carmi shared a bit of her secrets.
"I really maintain my weight, mine-measure ko yung aking tummy, yung aking braso, then I weigh myself, and usually katulad ng sabi ko kanina, sa taping ako minsan tumataba. Pag sa bahay, I only eat fish and gulay which I'm so lucky kasi mahilig ako sa fish atsaka sa gulay. Hindi ako mahilig sa mga matatamis," she said.
In terms of fashion and dressing up, Carmi has one rule: "I dress up for my age."
She prefers wearing classic pieces. "For me kasi, kung sasabayan ko lang 'yung fashion, ang bilis magpalit so mahirap siyang sabayan."
She stressed that she would rather be practical, "I would rather spend my money on some other things that are more worthy, more important."
Carmi, however, said that she puts her primer on her hair style.
She even gave advice to women.
"To love themselves, they have to take care of their body, meaning even if they are so dedicated to their family or their career, mas maigi pa din na, before you sleep: you put cream, remove your makeup, eat proper food," she advised.
"It doesn't mean na kung ano lang yung nakahain, yun ang kakainin mo. And you do some stretching and exercises.
It is also better to have a spiritual relationship with God. You communicate kasi mahirap din kung ikaw lahat ang nagdadala ng stress which kung minsan nagko-cause ng kapangitan," Carmi said.
She added that one should always thirst for knowledge.
"You really have to never stop learning. Kung gusto mo ma-retain ka dun sa who you are, you have to constantly learn new things. Never get bored about life. To find things that interests you. And most especially, yung mga interest mo is something that is positive," Carmi stressed.
However, she warned that one must always be cautious, "Andami ding independent diyan na meron ding danger. Siguro nagiging positive yung pagiging independent ko kasi wala naman akong inaapakan," she said confidently.
And added, "Pagiging independent is nakakainspire ka din sa ibang tao."
CAREER. The multi-faceted actress is part of GMA-7's teleserye Beauty Queen with Iza Calzado. She is also doing the movie Huling Sayaw with Aga Muhlach and Angel Locsin under Star Cinema.
Even with a soap opera in GMA-7, she stressed that she will not leave TV5, "Sinabi ko na hindi ko plan umalis, kasi sabi ko happy ako with Channel 5."
She explained the deal with GMA-7, "Ang kalinawagan is that I can do a show with Channel 5 as long as it is not a soap opera."
Carmi likes the set-up with her career now. "Mas okay na yung ganito. May soap ako sa GMA, a movie, yung sa TV5, tapos pa-guest-guest, because I'm also studying," Carmi said. She prays that she'll be able to finish her degree and apply for her Interior Design license.
"I would say that this month, ang dami nang magagandang bagay na nagyayari," Carmi said, definitely looking happy.