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Ian de Leon on going through depression: "I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone."

by Ruel J. Mendoza
Sep 7, 2022
Ian de Leon
Ian de Leon's inner struggle during dark phase in his life: "What was going on sa buhay ko during that time was I felt so empty and depressed that I couldn't feel anymore. I woke up one night thinking, 'What is wrong with me? What is going on?'"
PHOTO/S: Ian De Leon YouTube

Tatlong taong dumanas ng matinding depression ang aktor na si Ian de Leon.

Ito raw ang dahilan kung bakit siya lumayo sa mga taong gustong tumulong sa kanya, kasama na rito ang sarili niyang pamilya.

Ikinuwento ng aktor ang tungkol sa pinagdaanang mental health condition sa podcast na Surprise Guest with Pia Arcangel.

Ayon kay Ian: “When I hit rock bottom talaga, I was searching for answers, e. I strayed away from family for a while.

“I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want anyone asking me how I am.

“I just had that spiraling depression moment in my life where it took me three years to get over it, and it was a really dark and difficult time for me.

“I forgot about God, I forgot about people who cared for me, people who loved me and I just shut myself off from the world."

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Hindi rin daw maintindihan ni Ian kung bakit nangyari iyon sa kanya. Gustuhin man niyang humingi ng tulong, pero nahihiya raw siyang magkuwento ng pinagdaraanan niya.

"What was going on sa buhay ko during that time was I felt so empty and depressed that I couldn't feel anymore.

“I woke up one night thinking, 'What is wrong with me? What is going on? What should I do? Who should I go to? Who should I talk to?'

"I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anyone," diin pa niya.

Pero kahit pilit na lumalayo si Ian, hindi raw siya sinukuan ng kanyang pamilya. Nanatili raw silang nasa tabi ng aktor dahil alam nilang kailangan nito ng tulong.

Nagpasalamat si Ian sa kanyang asawa na si Jennifer Orcine dahil sa pagmamahal at sa pagtiyaga nito sa kanyang pinagdaanang depression.

"I am so blessed with my wife right now because she stuck with me through those dark times.

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"Di ba nga, sabi nila, malalaman mo kung sino ang totoong tao sa 'yo at magmamahal sa 'yo kung at the very darkest moments of your life, you will see only the people who are there for you?"

Ian de Leon

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HOW HEARTFELT PRAYERS SAVED HIM

Tanging dasal lang daw ang nakapagsalba kay Ian.

Lahad niya: "I started praying, and I think it was a call during that time. I prayed really hard. I didn't pray with words, I didn't pray with any sentences in my thoughts. I just prayed with intentions from my heart.

"Doon ko na-realize, if you want to communicate with our good Lord, it has to be pure intention and pure from your heart talaga. No words can truly express kung paano mo gagawin ang prayer na iyon.

"It was just like that na all sorts of information, in words, na sinasabi Niya, 'No one can teach you how to live your life but yourself. If you give up right now, it's your choice.

"'The power of choice is in your hands. You have to be strong, you have to move on from whatever it is that's going on in your life right now, you have to move on. Pull yourself back together. I'm here. I'm holding your hand. Look at Me, listen to Me, feel Me in your life.'"

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Ibinabahagi ni Ian ang kanyang mga natutunan tungkol sa buhay at kung paano haharapin ang mga problema sa kanyang YouTube channel na "Ian de leon Official."

Dasal ng aktor na kung may ibang taong dumaraan ngayon sa pinagdaanan niya, importante raw na nandiyan ang mga taong tunay na nagmamahal sa iyo at iyon ay ang pamilya at ang Panginoon.

Ian de Leon

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WORKING WITH DAD CHRISTOPHER

And speaking of family, sobrang saya ni Ian na muli niyang nakasama ang amang si Christopher de Leon sa top-rating primetime series ng GMA-7 na Lolong.

Noong child actor si Ian, nakasama niya ang kanyang Daddy Boyet sa 1986 family drama na I Love You Mama, I Love You Papa kunsaan kasama rin ang kanyang inang si Nora Aunor at mga kapatid na sina Lotlot de Leon at Matet de Leon.

Idinirek naman ni Boyet si Ian sa 1986 twin-bill fantasy-thriller na Halimaw Sa Banga/Komiks.

Ikinuwento ni Ian na noong mag-lock-in taping sila para sa Lolong, hirap siyang maki-bonding sa ama dahil sa physical distancing dahil panahon iyon na mataas ang bilang ng mga nahahawa sa COVID-19. Kaya sobrang strict ng safety protocols sa set nila.

"During our lock-in, I was thinking 'Uy, makaka-bonding ko na si Dad nang solid. Akin lang siya.' 'Yung ganun, kami lang ang magkasama.

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"Pero siyempre, safety protocols. After take, after your scene, you have to go back to the hotel and lock yourself in the room, kasi mataas pa ang cases noong time na yun.”

Christopher de Leon on Lolong

Nagkaroon naman daw ng pagkakataon si Ian na makasama ang ama sa isang kainan with the whole cast, pero magkalayo pa rin daw sila at nagsisigawan na lang silang dalawa para magkumustahan.

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"Funny nga dahil yung time na yun na nagkaroon kami ng first gathering with everyone sa cast, nasa isang restaurant kami, usually ang restaurant magkakatabi kayo, tapos kumakain kayo sa isang table. Kami hindi.

"Ang nakakatawa doon is per table, isang tao. Tapos yung table na yun, yung next table mo, malayo sa 'yo, so hindi kayo magkakatabi.

"Yung dad ko na-assign doon sa table na malapit sa door. Ako naman sa side na ito kung nasaan yung catering.

"Nagsisigawan kami across the room, 'Tay, kumusta ka diyan?!' Sasagot naman siya ng, 'Okay lang, anak! Gutom ka na ba? Kain ka lang.'

"Sasagot ako ng, 'Sige po, 'Tay, sabay na tayo.' Ganoon ka-weird!" natatawang kuwento ni Ian.

Ian de Leon on the set of Lolong

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ON TIME APART FROM HIS OWN SON

Isang ama na rin kasi si Ian kaya alam na niya ang pakiramdam na maging malayo sa kanyang anak.

Noong mag-lock-in taping siya for Lolong ng higit sa isang buwan, sobra niyang na-miss ang kanyang anak na si Jaden.

Ian de Leon on Lolong

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Pero kailangan daw niyang ipaunawa sa anak na ang trabahong ginagawa niya ay para sa kinabukasan nito.

"Yung six-year-old son ko, si Jaden, super-close kami. I mean, kahit saan ako magpunta, kahit sa bahay, nandito siya lagi sa tabi ko.

"Kapag hindi niya ako nakikita every time he wakes up, he would cry, he would feel sad, he would feel lonely.

"Noong unang alis ko, the night before I left, ine-explain ko sa kanya, 'Dada has to go to work,' 'Dada has to be away for three weeks.'

"Sabi niya, 'Daddy, why do you have to go to work and then you're not gonna be here until three weeks?'

"And then he started crying na. Sabi ko, 'Dada has to do this for us, for our family. To provide you with what you need, in school, your toys, your favorite food, your candies, your chocolates.’"

Ian de Leon

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Naluha si Ian nang ipaalam sa kanya ni Jaden na mas importante siya kaysa sa anumang materyal na bagay.

"Sabi niya sa akin, 'Dada I don't need all of those, all I need is you. Don't leave me.'

"E, katabi ko siya laging matulog, nandito siya lagi sa arms ko natutulog, hindi siya makakatulog hangga't hindi siya andito sa arms ko. Talagang niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit."

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Ian de Leon's inner struggle during dark phase in his life: "What was going on sa buhay ko during that time was I felt so empty and depressed that I couldn't feel anymore. I woke up one night thinking, 'What is wrong with me? What is going on?'"
PHOTO/S: Ian De Leon YouTube
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