BOOK REVIEW. Why Is There A Man and He’s Not Mine? by Dr. Orpah Marasigan is an inspiring read on self-discovery, healing, and love

IMAGE Christine Denny

First time author Dr. Orpah Marasigan in her book Why is There a Man and He's Not Mine? shares her journey as a single woman in a married couple's world.

She wonders why many single women struggle with the pain of waiting, living with a wounded heart, getting into illicit love, dealing with jerks, being lured into e-dating, and other love troubles.

Ultimately, she learns that only in understanding oneself and nurting a clo

“Actually, this is not a how-to book. It’s really more of my story."

This was how first-time author Dr. Orpah Marasigan, 53, revealed herself during the launch of her book, Why is There a Man and He’s Not Mine?, at Powerbooks in Greenbelt 4, Makati, last January 14.

"In the story, I invite people to understand what it means to wait on the Lord, understand what it means pag sinasabi sa atin, ‘Bring to God your loneliness.’

“Ano bang ibig sabihin noon? Anong gagawin mo dahil matanda na ang isang tao, dahil single pa rin?

"Okay ba na mag-settle ka na lang sa may-asawa? How do you deal with married men who pursue you? How do you deal with jerks?

"All of these are here.”

MORE THAN SELF-HELP. One might say that this is just one of those books that teach women how to be the right person while waiting for “The One” to come along.


It isn’t.

More than Orpah’s tale about her struggles when in a romantic relationship, what’s really striking about this book is how she went back to her core in order to fully understand herself.

She really pours her heart out in “Chapter 9: Anatomy of a Wounded Heart” where Orpah looks back to the way her parents brought her up and her siblings.

The author has allowed the reader to see in her no-holds-barred story how a complete and happy family can be painfully unstable at the same time.

In writing the book, she dug deep into her family dynamics and discovered how her parents’ marital relationship has affected her as a child and influenced her perception about romantic relationships as an adult.

In the process, Orpah has realized that the best way to heal was to confront the pains and losses she went through in her life.


To quote an excerpt from the book, “Every day I have to choose to offer a heart that is alive and vulnerable and to allow myself to feel the pain of relationship instead of shutting my heart to all that could hurt me.”

BEING SINGLE AND HAPPY AT 53. In an interview with (Philippine Entertainment Portal), Orpah further shared how she found inner peace despite her disappointments in love.

“My peace of mind comes from the knowledge that I needed to rest my heart in God.

"Now, whether or not there's a man in my life, I can be an alive-at-heart person, a fun-loving person.

"Hindi kailangan dahil lang single ka, boring ang buhay mo.”

For one thing, she enjoys meeting new people, living abroad from time to time, and putting together festive get-togethers with her family and friends.

“But you’re also authentic with how you feel. You don't deny these lonely feelings.


"This book really just revolves on how to live well like that.”

Ultimately, Why is There a Man and He’s Not Mine? aims to encourage readers to reflect on their personal journey to self-discovery, healing, and love.

Each chapter ends with a journal/questionnaire that will help readers work on their unresolved issues, which will hopefully lead to nurturing relationships with loved ones and most especially with God.

Dr. Orpah Marasigan finished Veterinary Medicine at the University of the Philippines in 1984. After working as a veterinarian for two years, she gave up her profession and served as full-time missionary for the Philippine Campus Crusade for Christ.

As such, she ministers to women of influence counting among them celebrities, producers, and government leaders.

Why is There a Man and He’s Not Mine? is now available at any Powerbooks outlet nationwide.


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