Whether you’ve been together for as short as three months or as long as ten years, misunderstanding is inevitable in any relationship.
The couples from the reality show I Do, hosted by Judy Ann Santos, reveal the secrets they learned from the I Do council on keeping their relationship strong.
SEE THE OTHER'S POINT OF VIEW. Chris says their difference in perception is one of the main reasons he and girlfriend Karen often argue.
“I realize that for every relationship there are differences in perception.
“So kung ano yung nakikita ko, iba sa nakikita niya. Kung ano yung nararamdaman ko, or anong ginagawa ko, iba ang dating sa kanya.
“And I have to understand from her perspective rin para magkaintindihan kami,” the businessman explains.
LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. Never add fuel to the fire. Try to calmly understand the situation. Listen to their side, while you carefully explain yours.
Emil says, “Isa po sa importanteng napulot ko doon is yung importance ng communication.
“Kasi along the way, parang nawawala yung communication niyo. Yun yung nagiging cause na pag nagaaway kami, hindi na kami nagkakaintindihan.
“Hindi na namin alam kung ano yung pinagaawayan namin.
“Nung binalik namin [yung communication,] nalaman namin na yun pala yung kulang namin, kung bakit kami nagaaway.
Emil’s girlfriend, Honey, agrees stating, “Nakita niyo naman, very small things kasi we usually misunderstand.
“Nung natutunan namin yung proper communication, when we’re fighting, natutunan namin na kailangan makinig ng both sides.”
STEP AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM. Give each other a bit of space to think things through, asses yourself and think of possible reasons and situations that could have happened beforehand which led to the argument.
Couple Christian and Chelsea admit learning this from the council, and how it has helped strengthen their bond and made them understand each other a bit more.
Christian stresses that you don’t have to “solve” things right away, give her space but do not ignore the underlying problem.
“When you fight with your partner, it’s good to give them space to cool down.
“For me, I try to solve the problems straight away, and it ends up getting in a bigger fight. So give them space, let them calm down, and then talk about it. [Learning] that was a big help for me.”
Being together for only three months, the model couple already know the importance of pointing out what went wrong.
Chelsea gushes, “If you fight you have to get to the root of the issue.”
Know what the problem is and get to the bottom of things. Remember that your significant other will not get mad or make “tampo” for no reason.
KEEP CALM. When “the talk” does come, make an effort to not raise your voice.
Chad, who is currently in a relationship with his long-time neighbor Sheela, reasons out, “Ayun po, pag magkaaway kayo, wag po kayo magsasabayan, kailangan may isa pong mahinahon.
“Wag po magsabay ng galit, para po mapadali natin ma-solve ang mga problema. Tsaka dapat laging mahinahon po,” he emphasizes.
ZERO CONFLICT, IN LOVE AGAIN. Always remember the first time you fell in love with each other, and re-kindle that every single day, most importantly after a huge clash.
Karen explains, “When fighting, [dapat] yung ending nun ang pinakamaganda. Kasi dapat maguumpisa kayo ulit sa zero.
“Parang in love ka ulit, parang walang nangyari sa inyo. Pagtitingnan mo siya na parang brand new kayo ulit, and yun dapat ang ending ng isang away.
“Dapat parang di nangyari yun, tsaka fresh ulit kayo. Wala na kayong sama ng loob at galit.
“Kaya naman very happy kami na natutunan naming yun kay Doc. Julia [one of the council members in I Do.]”