Have you ever walked into a room and felt like all eyes are on you?
Being sized up and picked apart for your looks are something a lot of women have experienced. And it's even worse when they look at you from head to toe, or give you not-so-subtle sidelong glances.
While these little gestures seem harmless, there are some ladies on the receiving end who don't come out unscathed. But the confident women will always know how to deal with these pangingilatis.
We talked to three women about their experiences with the dreaded "kilatis," and how they came out of it stronger.
ALIA, 23, LAW STUDENT
Queues, for some reason, are prime venues for kilatis. Alia, who is model-thin and petite, always seems to get stares whenever she lines up for something, whether it’s to pay for cinema tickets or something as every day as queueing for a taxi ride.
“’I’ve seen people look at me from head to toe with their eyebrow raised, sometimes, twice over,” she says. The looks usually come from women slightly older than her. “I think the first thing that they think of is ‘Why is she so skinny?’”
"I think it’s because growing up, people around me would always criticize my weight. They would tell me that I should eat more," Alia explains.
"Even though they would say na they want to be skinny like me, they would also tell me na magpataba naman ako. And then they would make jokes about my weight," she says.
Your build is not something that you have control over, and Alia has mastered the art of not minding what strangers think. “I remind myself that they don’t contribute anything of value to my life,” she says. “Always remember that strangers’ opinions don’t really matter. What’s important is you know yourself.”
LARA, 24, CONTENT STRATEGIST
Pangingilatis is not always mean-spirited, but it can hurt your ego. For Lara, even a casual ribbing among friends made her self-conscious and embarrassed.
One incident in college showed Lara how hurtful this can be.
"During a casual conversation with my friends, a guy friend told us that he knows that he likes a girl if she is makinis,” Lara narrates. “So another friend asked this guy friend to literally pinpoint everything he doesn't like about our physical appearances."
"He took a good look at me, and pointed out how I was too fat for my height, and how my hair made me look old."
Lara has since shrugged off the incident, refusing to let it create a lasting impression. In the end, she firmly believes that it's best to embrace who you are.
"Just accept your flaws and feel comfortable in your own skin. Enhance your best features and be confident about it," she says.
KIANA, 23, ENVIRONMENTAL ADVOCATE
“It always happens whenever I attend conferences or events,” says Kiana. She is part of the World Wide Fund National Youth Council, and as a representative of today’s generation, she has to deal with people disregarding her status because of her age.
“People will always take a look at you, from head to toe, judging your capabilities just by how you dress up. I also get this ‘look’ from people much older than me, as if they don't think I deserve to be in the event or program,” she says.
But leadership has taught Kiana to focus on her goals, so she got rid of self-consciousness her own way.
“Rather than feeling intimidated, I always take this as an opportunity to surprise and make a good lasting impression on people around me. Every time I walk into a room, I make sure to keep my head high and to be as articulate and as confident as possible,” Kiana says.
It also helps that she had done the legwork and worked hard for it.
“I just always make sure that I know and that I am confident about what I am doing. Whenever I'm attending conferences, I always prepare prior to the event so that I will be able to participate well in discussions. I just always try to shrug off all unnecessary actions from other people and just focus on my goal," Kiana says.
For the most part, she has grown into it. She doesn't let the "noise" of other people's opinions get to her because she knows her value. “I think I am in a point wherein I am really comfortable about who I am, of my positive traits and flaws. It is just a matter of keeping this as my mindset all the time,” Kiana says.
GOODBYE SA MGA NANGINGILATIS, HELLO SA CONFIDENCE
As these women showed, unsolicited comments and judgment stand no chance against women who are confident in their own skin.
They are proof that getting over other people's pangingilatis requires healthy self-esteem and self-awareness. They believe in themselves, in their talents, and in their own beauty.
While criticism in itself can be useful, it does not define you as a person. In fact, if you take stock of what you have, you can even use it to your advantage.
But, of course, self-confidence can only be acquired if you know that you've taken care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, take care of your mental health, do your skincare routine—whatever makes you feel good.
Being in control of your well-being, your overall health, your skin, makes you ready to face the world despite the "kilatis." After all, you worked for it, so might as well flaunt it.
Kill the nega vibes and the pangingilatis with the new Myra Body and Face Care skincare solutions with its complete line of facial wash, facial moisturizer, and vitamin lotion, your companions to having that kinis-glowing skin all over.
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