Solenn Heussaff admits getting depressed over 'tumataba ka' remarks

by FM Ganal
Jul 22, 2018
Solenn Heussaff: "Some people on set would tell me I was getting bigger. Even though they were saying it jokingly, it still affected me."

Solenn Heussaff admitted to having her own personal battle with depression in 2017.

In her latest blog post, she revealed, "I’ve never shared this in public before, but I had my own struggles with mental health just last year.

"I remember I had weeks with no work, and just not doing anything made me doubt myself."

The host/actress/painter/singer also mentioned how seemingly-harmless "tumataba ka" remarks figured in it.

She continued, "During the days I would have work, some people on set would tell me I was getting bigger.

"Even though they were saying it jokingly, it still affected me.

"So I went on a crazy overdrive. I worked out and dieted to the extreme, tried to get as much work as I could.

"Because of the stress I was putting on myself, I got an anxiety attack at work.

"I still remember that during the attack, my face looked like it was melting and I had to go to the hospital.

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"I couldn’t understand what was happening to me."

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Solenn, however, had to keep things to herself because, partly, she didn't want to be judged.

"Clearly, more people had bigger problems than me. Yet I was still struggling mentally and emotionally, but at the same time, I didn’t think I had valid reasons to be struggling.

"So I didn’t want to talk to my family or my friends about it, because I was afraid to be judged and I was afraid they would get so worried.

"I didn’t want to see a psychologist, because I couldn’t admit that there was something wrong with me."

The Kapuso star found her safe space in a healing method called "ThetaHealing."

According to an official Vianna Stibal ThetaHealing website, it is a "meditation technique and spiritual philosophy" that trains your mind, body, and spirit to "clear limiting beliefs and live life with positive thoughts, developing virtues in all that we do."

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This method created by Vianna Stibal in 1995 isn't associated with any specific religion, but its purpose is to enhance one's relation to the "Creator of All."

Creator refers to "the spirit that intertwines and binds all things in existence."

Going back to Solenn's post, this technique helped her get through her struggle.

"I talked to a person who helped me release everything I was holding on to—the stress, the pain, the doubts. And it felt good.

"I was talking to someone who didn’t know me, so there was no room to be judged.

"I felt lighter and more motivated again after that."

A post shared by Solenn Heussaff (@solenn) on

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Solenn Heussaff: "Some people on set would tell me I was getting bigger. Even though they were saying it jokingly, it still affected me."
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