Fights happen between married couples.
That's the premise of the book 10 Things We Fight About co-written by Maricar Reyes and her husband Richard Poon. It was released last year.
A fan asked Maricar this question through Facebook: “How do you control your temper when you were so mad with your husband?”
The 36-year-old actress replied through her blog, Relationship Matters:
“When I’m really REALLY mad, I hit the floor with a pillow around 10 times —very hard.
“I make sure I’m alone when I do this, because it’s very stressful for anyone to see.
“The physical exertion drains out some of the anger... In 4 years of marriage, I’ve done this twice.”
Recalling some of their quarrels in the book, Maricar and Richard encouraged couples to fight about things that are important in their relationship.
The Kapamilya star wrote in her blog, “I force myself to remember the biggest reasons why I married my husband.
“Among them is his love for the truth. His extreme honesty has brought intimacy, security, and joy into my life.
“Our many fights are not enough to make me want to live without it... I remember my weaknesses that he has to put up with, too!
“I don’t plan, while he is a long-term thinker. He has to explain things to me very slowwwlyyyy if there’s math involved.
"He’s naturally goal-oriented, and needs to keep checking on my tendencies to be lazy…”
According to Maricar, the process of venting her anger with a pillow and thinking things out after releasing her anger without causing hurt.
She wrote, “Usually, after doing the 1st, and meditating on the 2nd and 3rd, my emotions stabilize enough to be able to work on a solution together with my husband.
“It helps soften my heart to apologize when I’m wrong, and accept a sorry from him for any mistakes.
“Mentors always tell me keep my heart soft, so it won’t be quick to form grudges (sama ng loob).”
She also reminded herself, “It’s very important for me to practice dealing with anger.
“Given my non-confrontational personality, my problem is not in angry outbursts—
"[I]t’s forming bitterness in my heart by keeping anger inside… I’ve heard bitterness can make people sick.”