Like many parents, celebrity mom Bianca Gonzalez has mixed emotions about her daughters, eight-year-old Carmen and five-year-old Lucia, becoming more independent.
Bianca shares her thoughts on this phase of parenthood during an exclusive interview with PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) at Ceelin's 50th Anniversary event on May 17, 2024, held at Unilab Bayanihan Center in Pasig City.
Although this transition feels bittersweet, it is expected, especially since her children attend a Montessori-type school that encourages self-reliance and teaches valuable life skills.
Bianca says, "Actually, I'm very lucky because my kids go to a Montessori-type school.
"And dun sa Montessori-type school, ang paniniwala talaga nila is 'help me do it by myself.'
"Meaning kids should do everything on their own tapos kami yung tagagabay lang."
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Bianca acknowledges that she, as a parent, has also gained insights from this approach, and realized her kids' capabilities.
"Actually, mas dun ako natututo kasi parang bilang mommy, my instinct is sa lahat tutulungan sila, di ba?
"So, because of school, ma-slowly natutunan ko na, 'Ah, kaya pala nila.' Like, there are so many things they can do."
Bianca also observes that this also boosts her daughters' confidence and develops their sense of initiative.
In her words, "Kita mo din yung, parang nabu-boost yung confidence nila when they suddenly accomplish something na parang, 'Ah, kaya ko pala to.'
"So we encourage them.
"Like, kunyare, my eight-year-old, after niya mag-snack, siya na din maghugas yung plato niya.
"Iso-soap niya, iri-rinse niya, tapos ilalagay niya sa ano.
"So, we give them words of encouragement na parang, like, 'Thank you for helping.'"
CARMEN AND LUCIA'S INTERESTS
In addition to their growing independence, Bianca is proud to see her daughters develop their artistic skills, a trait she believes they inherited from their dad, JC Intal.
"Siguro because they see their dad do it so very into arts yung kids ko.
"They love drawing, coloring, doing crafts.
"My five-year-old talaga, sobra siyang talented sa drawing and sa... yung maging clay figures. Ang hilig niya talaga.
"Like, if she's doing that kahit mga tipong one hour, pabayaan mo siya, yun lang gagawin niya."
Bianca adds, "My eight-year-old naman, she's into gymnastics, she's into swimming.
"Pero mahilig din siya sa art, lettering, doing stickers. So, yun ang mga nakikita namin."
BIANCA GONZALEZ ON BALANCED PARENTING
In uncovering new aspects of her daughters' personalities, Bianca realizes that this phase is also a journey of self-discovery for her as a mom.
She describes herself as a hands-on and passionate mother, but not to the point of hovering. Instead, she focuses on striking the perfect balance between discipline and leniency.
Bianca tells PEP.ph, "As much as I don't want to be that parang masyadong hovering mom, I'm very clingy.
"Well, siguro, I'd say na lang affectionate. I'm very affectionate to my people. Very hands-on.
"Very parang, everything kailangan dumaan sa akin. Pero, I'm not as strict.
"Hindi naman ako yung parang nakakasakal na yung strictness sa mga anak. Sakto lang. Saktong disciplinarian."
This is also why she avoids using physical punishment when disciplining her daughters— a lesson she learned from her own parents.
Instead, Bianca uses proper communication, helping her daughters understand the situation.
"Actually, when I was growing up, never... hindi namalo yung mama ko.
"I remember parang siyang nananakot na mangunugurot... parang yun na yung most.
"So, with our kids, definitely, hindi na siya yung kulad nung dati.
"We also don't... We don't have 'punishments' or we don't have physical na papaluin yung bata because that's what works for us."
Her daughters are also aware when Bianca is about to get angry.
She elaborates, "Sa amin, ano talaga... Either kausapin or bilang nanay, ako yung mag-raise ng voice.
"Pag medyo yung tone ko, bumaba na tapos yung mata ko lumaki na, alam na nila. Mas ganun, and so far, it's been working for me."
She continues, "I wouldn't say I'm super gentle parenting style. I'm very makausap.
"So, like, I'll brief them what will happen within the day para they know what to expect, para involved sila.
"I make them choose what they want, if they have preferences. Mas kausap."
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