Some truths about motherhood, according to Bianca Gonzalez

IMAGE antonpatdu / iamsuperbianca on Instagram

Bianca Gonzalez admits that motherhood isn't exactly the picture-perfect, storybook-happy-ending rite of passage that most moms paint it to be: "Lalo na the first three months na hindi ka naliligo, hindi ka kumakain on time, ang bahu-baho mo, umiiyak yung baby mo, parang, 'What the hell is this?'"


Bianca Gonzalez has been a mom to daughter Lucia for one year and ten months now, and all throughout that time, she realized how much today's moms are different from those in the previous generation.

During a chat with Smartparenting.com.ph and PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) at the recent Sanicare event in Makati City, Bianca mused about how social media has made moms more hands-on and conscious of their mommy duties.

She began, "I don't know if it's because of social media, but I think moms today are very hands-on.

"Kasi when we were growing up naman, when you hit three months, Mama goes back to work, tapos na maternity leave.

"Lalaki ka sa yaya, you'll see mommy at night, but we all grew up fine.

"But now, there's just this consciousness of 'Yes, there's a yaya, but we'll still be the ones to change the diapers, bring her to the park,' may gano'n.

"Again, hindi ko alam if it's because of social media, and we see it with others or that's just how it grew to be."

With so much information readily available at their fingertips, young moms can readily find help by browsing online, instead of merely relying on their maternal instincts.

While this seems like a convenient bonus, Bianca also sees it as a double-edged sword.

"At the same time, I think a millennial mom is under insane pressure, like… other mom friends are ashamed that they have to stop breastfeeding at three months or six months because of milk issues, work issues.

"Parang they're so hard on themselves."

Bianca admitted that she also experienced such pressure.

"Actually, me, I was also so hard on myself before because I don't have a lot of milk, e.

"Parang the good side nga of being a millennial mom is we're so informed, there's so much information. We're so hands-on.

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"But the bad side is, really, we're so hard on ourselves."

SERIOUS CASE OF MOM GUILT. Bianca also confessed that it has been a while since she last gave herself some proper "me time."

"Ako, to this day—I'm very open to my husband about this—I suffer from mom guilt.

"Like, I hardly see my friends, or the only times I'm out of the house is for work or the occasional seeing my friends.

"Parang I've only had five manicures since my baby was born. Yung things like that!

"Other than that, parang feeling ko, I'm bad if I leave her just to have fun…

"Because we're very hard on ourselves, and I'm definitely one of those.

"Although, I wish I weren't. I really wish I wasn't too hard on myself.

"A lot of people tell it to me and I give it as advice to other moms...but it's also something I'm guilty of."

MOMMY DIARIES. One of Bianca's ways of navigating through motherhood is sharing her mommy adventures through her #MommyDiaries posts on Instagram.

Here, she depicts the more realistic side of motherhood rather than the ideal, stereotyped image of the "happy, beautiful, ever-smiling" mom.

"I try to make it as realistic as possible kasi when I gave birth, siyempre ang dami nang nauna na moms na friends, and when they post lagi, it's always the happy, beautiful, smiling... parang motherhood is the best thing ever!

"And though it is the best thing ever, parang when I experienced it, lalo na the first three months na hindi ka naliligo, hindi ka kumakain on time, ang bahu-baho mo, umiiyak yung baby mo, parang, 'What the hell is this?'

"Sobra akong na-culture shock.

"So I made sure talaga whenever I would post, it was a more realistic caption like the sleepless nights, the eye bags, the days that you cry na lang kasi hindi mo alam kung bakit siya umiiyak…

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"I try to be more realistic."


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