Kris Aquino on mom Cory Aquino: "I miss her..."

"Yung maliliit na bagay, like phone line, you cry. Talagang I was really crying. I said, 'Why am I crying for a phone line that was being disconnected?' It just means na hindi mo na makakausap," says an emotional Kris Aquino about her mom, former president Cory Aquino (inset), who passed away August 1.


Limang araw matapos mailibing ang yumaong Pangulong Cory Aquino, nasaksihan ng mga tao ang muling pagbabalik sa trabaho ng kanyang bunsong anak na si Kris Aquino sa programa nila ni Boy Abunda sa ABS-CBN na Showbiz News Ngayon (SNN) noong Agosto 10. Last Sunday naman, August 16, ay bumalik na rin si Kris sa The Buzz para samahang mag-host sina Boy at Ruffa Gutierrez.

Bagama't pinipilit ni Kris na huwag umiyak, hindi niya pa rin napigilang maging emosyunal sa kanyang paglalahad ng kuwento tungkol sa kanyang yumaong ina.

"You know, mas sad this week, e," naluluha na niyang sabi. "I don't wanna cry. I'm so sad talaga. I wrote 30 pages, all about lessons I learned from Mom. So, parang I finished it lunch time kanina before coming here. Tapos when I was reading through it, siyempre tulo nang tulo ang luha ko. Nagagalit na ako sa sarili ko dahil iyak pa rin ako nang iyak.

"Pero I miss her. We all miss her... My sisters said, 'Huwag ka nang umiyak sa TV, kasi 'pag umiiyak ka...' Naiiyak din sila. I miss her. Nakaka-miss talaga, Boy. Yung parang may gusto kang ikuwento, wala ka namang kukuwentuhan... I have to make this kuwento kasi it's really how Mom was," patuloy na pag-iyak ni Kris.

PREP KIDS SAW TITA CORY. Isinalaysay ni Kris ang kanyang natuklasang pangyayari sa pinapasukang school ng kanyang panganay na anak (sa aktor na si Phillip Salvador) na si Josh.

"I went to Josh's school Friday, kasi meron silang yung ganung weekend presentation. And then si Teacher Joy, the owner of the school, told me... Mom died early morning Saturday [August 1], parang Friday [July 31], prep students, three of them, actually, mga five years old, sinabi na, 'You know the President that we were writing get-well letters to, she's there, o! She's okay na.' And then yung teacher sinabi, 'Where?' 'In the corridor.' Tapos sinabi nung teacher dun sa bata, 'No, she's not there.' And then, 'No, she's there.' Two other kids related this to their parents, na nakita nila ang mom. That corridor where the prep kids are, they share that corridor with Joshua's classroom. And they said, 'She's looking into that classroom.'

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"So, parang it is a message na parang nagpapaalam siya [Tita Cory]. Tsine-check niya si Josh. Kasi, I don't know if you believe that, but they told na when you're about to go, there are certain things daw na kailangan masiguro mong okay. And I think sinisiguro niya na okay si Josh. Tapos, I kept praying to her and that I have to bring the kids to Manila Memorial. Dumalaw kami, nag-pray. Sabi ko [kay Josh], 'Say hi to Lola, I think Lola misses you,'" lahad ni Kris.

Ayon pa kay Kris, nagpaparamdam daw sa kanya ang ina.

"Yung room, Boy, nagpaparamdam ang mom, e. Yung parlor na ginawa ko sa bahay na may shampoo bowl na para doon siya sina-shampoo 'pag nagki-chemo, naka-lock yung sliding doors doon. Nakasara yung mga... the blinds are all closed. But Friday night after going to the school, the doors are open, as in nakabukas.

"So, I felt her presence again, and then today, before coming to work, yung lights... Nobody else is in the room, sa banyo, nag-on-off yung ilaw ilang beses. Kasi I kept saying na, 'Mom, I miss you.' Maybe she's just trying to tell me na, 'Tigilan mo na. Huwag ka nang umiyak sa TV. Kailangan to be strong.'"

STILL COPING. Nahihirapan daw talaga si Kris sa pagkawala ng kanyang ina at ultimong ang maliliit na bagay na may kinalaman kay Tita Cory ay iniiyakan niya.

"It's so hard kasi Ate [Ballsy Aquino-Cruz, her eldest sister] is celebrating her birthday on Tuesday [August 18]. And it's so hard to celebrate. We also know naman na Mom wants us to be together. Pero yun lang, there's so many things I need to do because I committed to do it. Because for Mom and to perpetuate her memory, pero 'pag ginagawa mo yun, you relive the simple things.

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"Friday [August 14], I signed kasi yung disconnection ng Smart line niya and I was taking care of that. Yung maliliit na bagay, like phone line, you cry. Talagang I was really crying. I said, 'Why am I crying for a phone line that was being disconnected?' It just means na hindi mo na makakausap.

"And then yung credit card bill, sabi ko sa company, 'Padala n'yo sa akin, ako na.' And then, you know, they also said, 'We're cutting it off permanently.' Yun lang, Boy, it's hard and it's sad. That's why I appreciated the movie And I Love You So so much, kasi you miss the person so much. Nami-miss mo talaga."

Sa pelikula kasing And I Love You So ng Star Cinema ay namatayan ng asawa ang character na ginagampanan ng bidang si Bea Alonzo. Naka-relate daw talaga si Kris sa movie dahil sa naranasan naman niyang pagkamatay ng kanyang ina.

EFFECT ON BABY JAMES. Sumunod ay pinansin naman ni Ruffa ang bunsong anak ni Kris na si Baby James, na nasa loob ng studio ng The Buzz. Very jolly raw ito noong una pero nang makitang umiiyak ang mommy niya ay biglang tumigil sa paglikot at nakatitig lang kay Kris. Ayon kay Kris, may epekto raw talaga kay Baby James pag nakikita siyang umiiyak, gayundin kapag may nakikita siyang medical staff sa paligid.

"And how much this proves na death changes your kids talaga. Eto si Baby James, kasi beauty day nung Friday, tapos may doktora for derma. The nurses are in scrub suit, he embraced me talaga. He was fighting the doctor, and he said, 'Mama, don't go.' Ang feeling na niya ngayon, 'pag mayroong doktor sa paligid, o pag may mga ano, mawawala ka. And talagang the whole time he was sobbing na akala mo talagang mawawala na ako. So, nabigla ako, sabi ko, 'Of course, I'm not going Baby James. I'll forever be here.'"

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Parang nasanay na nga raw ang mga anak ni Kris na makita siyang umiiyak kaya talagang niyayakap daw siya ng mga ito.

"Parang nasanay na sila na wipe nang wipe ng tears. They will hug me. One will attempt to hold my hand. One will embrace. Yun, it's just the reality of moving on with your life and knowing that she's not there," aniya.

STILL TALKING TO MOM CORY. Sabi pa ni Kris, hanggang ngayon ay madalas pa rin niyang kausapin ang kanyang ina.

"I was teasing her. When I was in the house and getting dressed, sabi ko, 'Mom, nakuha mo naman yung gusto mo, di ba? One year akong conservative na magbibihis.' I'm joking her. Tapos sabi ko, 'Mom, di ba, black for six months? At least alam mo na yung cleavage na kinagagalitan mo, hindi mo makikita talaga nang matagal.'

"I talk to her pa rin e. It's really true, yung ikinukuwento ni Ate LT [Lorna Tolentino] sa akin na kakausapin mo [yung namatay], and you do. I talk to her talaga. And I'm just waiting na kapag nag-o-on-off yung lights, feeling ko, sinasagot ako," kuwento ni Kris. (Matatandaang last year ay namatay ang asawa ni Lorna na si Rudy Fernandez dahil sa periampullary cancer.)

Bigla namang natawa sina Ruffa at Boy, pati na ang mga tao sa studio, sa sumunod na tinuran ni Kris.

Aniya, "Hindi po ako nababaliw, ha! I'm just really trying to hold on and trying to have communication with my mom. Yun lang talaga, nakaka-miss lang talaga. I think totoo yun na matagal mong mami-miss talaga."

Ang sinabi ni Kris na pagsusuot niya ng black for six months ay tatagal hanggang sa birthday ni Tita Cory on January 25 next year.

"Kung kaya ng one year, let's try a year. You know, all my sisters chose to do the same thing."

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NOYNOY'S SUITS. Natigil ang pagiging emosyunal ni Kris nang magkuwento siya tungkol sa kanyang Kuya Noynoy Aquino.

"The other thing lang, Boy, eto 'cute lang yung tungkol kay Noy... Kasi, di ba, yung mga suits niya, ang gumagawa, yung sa iyo. Sabi niya, 'Huwag mong gawing kasing fitted nung kay Boy, ha, yung mga black suits ko? At huwag mong gawing pencil cut yung pants ko."

Ipinakita pa ni Boy on TV ang kanyang suot na pantalon na gawa ni Joey Samson para malinawan ang mga manonod sa sinasabi ni Kris.

"Kaya sabi ko, 'Promise, Noy, hindi ganyan.' Alam mo yung we laugh together as a family. But, di ba, ganun yun talaga, you still cry?"

Nagpasalamat din si Kris sa mga taong nagpaparating ng mensahe sa kanya na mas minahal nila ang kanilang mga magulang dahil sa nasaksihan nila sa mga nakaraang pangyayari sa pamilya Aquino.

"And I just want to say thank you to everybody na sinasabi sa akin na mas naging caring daw sila towards their mom. Mas nag-spend time sila sa pamilya because of what we went though. I think you watched [And I Love You So] at Ever Gotesco with your Nanay because of my pangungulit!" natatawang wika ni Kris kay Boy.

NO MORE TALKS ABOUT HAVING A BABY. Binanggit naman ni Boy na next Sunday ay pag-usapan naman nila ang tungkol sa naging pahayag ni Kris na gusto niyang magka-baby ulit. Pero kinontra ito ni Kris.

"Ayaw na ng Ate. At talagang Ate ko ang nagsabing huwag. Because of what happened to the Binays. [Namatay ang asawa ni Makati Councilor Junjun Binay dahil sa kumplikasyon sa panganganak.] She said, 'Krissy naman, if something happens to you next year, I will also want to die.' That was what Ate said. Let's pray. I won't do anything to work up na lang. I won't do anything scientific. But if it comes, then that means it is God's will," pahayag ni Kris.

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