Mo Twister seems to be feeling better these days.
Ito kaagad ang napansin ng PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) nang muli namin siyang makapanayam kahapon, May 22, pagkatapos ng airing ng Sunday showbiz talk show ng TV5 na Paparazzi.
Kumpara noong kasagsagan ng kontrobersiya kaugnay ng nangyaring breakup nila ni Rhian Ramos, na sobrang affected siya at depressed, nakakangiti na siyang muli at nagagawa na namang magbiro at mangulit sa mga co-host niyang sina Cristy Fermin, Dolly Ann Carvajal, at Ruffa Gutierrez.
Nakatulong marahil ang trip niya sa Hong Kong recently kasama ang iba pang celebrities.
Is he really okay now?
"I’m just trying to grasp... how things are working," aniya.
"You know, I’m seeing a therapist. So, nakakatulong din ’yon sa pagiging okay ko... sana.
"Siguro nakakatulong nga ’yong seeking professional help. And talking to them.
"It’s something na I think, dapat na ’yong mga ibang tao na kailangan nila ng tulong katulad sa akin, na puwedeng mag-seek ng therapist."
THE BREAKUP. For the record, kailan nga ba nangyari ’yong official breakup nila ni Rhian?
"I don’t know," sagot ni Mo.
Hindi na niya matandaan yung mismong araw kung kailan sila nag-split?
"It’s been a while. But you know, I’m more focused on just trying to get better," paliwanag niya.
Were they able to talk already?
"No," sagot ni Mo.
"I’m basically just keeping myself outside of any... I just try to stay home. So I’m not really talking to anyone.
"Kasi mas gusto ko na lang mag-concentrate sa aking sarili at ayusin ’yong mga personal issues instead of other things."
Is Rhian still mad at him, sa palagay niya?
"I don’t know," sabi ni Mo.
"I don’t get a chance to talk to anyone.
"Like I said, I spend most of my time concentrating on fixing any issues that I might have."
Pero, di ba, sa isang relasyon, hangga’t maaari ay maayos dapat ang paghihiwalay? Na kailangan nagkakausap para magkaroon ng closure? Hindi ba nila puwedeng gawin ’yon? O hindi pa time at matagal pa ang tamang panahon?
"Yeah!" sambit niya.
"You know, I don’t wanna sound like paulit-ulit.
"It’s just that right now, I promised na the only thing I’m concentrating on is making myself better.
"I see my therapist twice a week. I just wanna be better.
"I wanna be a better person. I wanna feel better about myself.
"I want to be able to... not be sad. And not be angry.
"Not be bitter. Not be mad. Not be anything.
"I just wanna be okay."
HEALING PROCESS. Nangangalahati na ba siya do’n sa parang healing process na pinagdadaanan niya sa ngayon?
"I’m not just healing from what I went through recently in relationships. I’m trying to heal from a lot of things.
"I’m trying to be a batter person all around.
"It’s not like... wala ’yong issues na katulad ng like, you know, rehab.
"It’s just a personal thing that I’m seeking help to make sure that si Mo ay isang mabuting tao na hindi mahirap makasama.
"You know, stuff like that."
How long will it take before he can finally achieve his goal?
"I don’t know. I’m not really rushing. You know, it’s a process.
"I’m not a danger to society. Hindi naman ito kailangan kaagad.
"Hindi naman ako mananakit ng mga tao or anything.
"This is just for my personal [growth]."
Mukha lang daw siyang naka-recover na. But deep inside, he still feels the pain of losing someone he has loved so much. ’Yong sleepless nights at emptiness na dulot nga raw ng pagkawala ni Rhian.
"Yeah! I mean, I’ve lost something pretty special. And a big part of my life.
"So, of course, there’ll be sleepless nights. And I’ve lost some weight and stuff like that.
"But you know, the process I’m going through right now is the right process.
"’Yong... make sure to be a better person first. And then makikita mo na lang ’yong mga improvements sa akin."
SUPPORT SYSTEM. Malaking bagay din daw para kay Mo na nandiyan ang kanyang mga kaibigan para sa kanya sa anumang oras na kailangan niya ng tulong o suporta.
Si Sam YG nga, na guest co-host sa Paparazzi kahapon, after the show ay tinapik pa sa balikat si Mo at sinabing anytime na kailangan niya ng makakausap, tawagan lang daw o i-text ito.
"Yeah, my friends are very helpful. And they’re very nice.
"And it’s nice to see... Kasi hindi naman ako ’yong tipo ng lalakeng may barkada, stuff like that.
"I’m very... just alone a lot of the times.
"So, paminsan-minsan, nakakataba rin ng puso na nakikita kong marami ring tao rito sa industriya at sa radio station ko na concerned."
What about his family na nakabase nga sa U.S.?
"They’re still there for me, like any family would be.
"Sinasabi lang nila whatever my decision, they’ll be supportive."
FINDING SOMEBODY NEW. Hindi ba mas makakatulong sa sitwasyon niya kung bubuksan niya ang kanyang puso para sa isang bagong pag-ibig?
"No. I’m not really at that stage right now.
"Honestly, hindi pa talaga ako naka-move on.
"And... girls right now are the last thing on my mind.
"I don’t even wanna entertain any thought or any conversation about it.
"Gusto ko lang ayusin ko ’yong sarili ko bago ako ulit magmahal."
MEDIATION. Si Rhian, kinuhang legal counsel si Atty. Lorna Kapunan kaugnay sa mga naglabasang isyu matapos ang breakup nila ni Mo.
Pero taliwas sa naunang napabalita, wala naman daw plano ang aktres na kasuhan siya sa mga nai-tweet niyang hindi maganda ang naging dating para sa young actress.
Sa sinasabing pagmi-mediate ni Atty. Kapunan para ma-settle ang anumang problema at issues sa pagitan nila ni Rhian, what actions are being done at the moment?
"Well... like I’ve been saying, I just... my first action is if I want anything to be fixed, it starts with fixing myself, you know. And uhm... I can’t make anyone love me if I’m not lovable.
"That’s why I have to make sure that I am okay. Para lang... whether it be my whole family, my friends, a girl... if you want people to trust you, make sure that you’re gonna love them, you’re gonna protect them, you’re gonna do anything.
"Whether being a friend, family or whatever, you have to do something about it. Those are actions that I’m doing right now."
During his good times with Rhian, was there a time na naiisip niyang sila na nga talaga ang magkakatuluyan?
"Well... I think you all know na I’m very fond of Rhian. That I’m in love with Rhian. So... you hope for the best.
"I love her very, very much. Rhian is an amazing person. Grabe. Kung... if you get the chance to spend the day with her, you’ll fall in love with her.
"She’s exceptional. She’s very smart.
"I think that’s the one... the best quality niya talaga. I mean she’s obviously beautiful. But ’yong... she’s so, so smart.
"So siyempre if you ask me kung sana siya na ang makatuluyan ko, of course!
"Kasi... I’m not just speaking for myself. I’m speaking for anyone who has met her. She’s amazing."
Bakit nga ba kailangan pa ng legal mediation through Atty. Kapunan? Hindi ba puwede na just the two of them talking and fixing things? Tutal, sila lang namang dalawa ang involved sa kung anumang problema at situwasyong pinagdaraanan nila ngayon.
" [Atty. Kapunan] is just a common friend, e. We’re all common friends.
"And I’ve made some mistakes. I think it’s best if the right actions are taken. And that’s asking the help of a friend.
"And our friend happens to be Lorna Kapunan. Kung hindi ko kilala si Lorna, baka hindi mangyayari ’yon.
"It really is just you know... I’ve made a mistake. Let’s talk to someone who’s a professional or who’s my friend, who will be able to mediate through some of the stuff that happened."
Do’n sa mediation na ’yon, makabubuti siguro kung paghaharapin na rin sila ni Rhian nang face to face, di ba?
"I’m very happy with how everything... how the process went. It was not as bad as everyone thought it was.
"Everyone thinks may hearing, may law suit, may paper work. Wala, e. It’s just a bunch of friends getting together and talking about it.
"Naaawa ako kay Rhian. Ang daming nagsasabi... bakit kumuha ka pa ng lawyer? Hindi naman sa kumuha ng lawyer. She just asked the advice of a common friend.
"’Yong lumabas [sa news] ay parang may pending law suit. It’s not fair to Rhian."
Sa naging takbo ng pangyayari, ang dating ay si Mo lang ang nagmahal nang lubos kay Rhian. Ang aktres, parang hindi raw naging gano’n kalalim ang love because it seemed so easy for her to give up their relationship.
"No. No. I’ve made a mistake. Whatever is happening now is really a consequence of things that I’ve done.
"So this is not... I don’t want people to think bad of Rhian or sisihin siya here. Kasi really, honestly, I mean I know we’re in show business. Kailangan i-spin ang kuwento.
"But I’m telling you this na 100 percent honestly, whatever happened was my fault. That I’m trying to be a better person. And if anyone has anything bad to say about Rhian, unfortunate lang na si Rhian ’yon.
"Kasi, she’s completely... I feel bad for her. She’s really innocent of all of these things. Kawawa naman siya."
MISTAKES. Ayaw nang idetalye pa ni Mo kung ano ang tinutukoy niyang mga pagkakamaling nagawa niya. Basta gusto raw niyang maitama ang mga ito.
Hindi pa rin ba niya igini-give up ang posibilidad na magkaayos at magkabalikan pa silang dalawa?
"I don’t expect anything. And I don’t hope for really anything but just to get better. I wanna take some time to be a better Mo.
"And if that means some favorable situations in the future whether it be sa career, love life, family life, or whatever, then I’m gonna be siyempre excited to..."
What important lesson has he learned from what happened?
"You know, just... protect the things you love. Uhm... shut up!" natawa pa niyang sabi.
"You don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Uhm... stay away from the Internet. Kasi, it’s dangerous when you talk.
"Sometimes I think I’m just writing a diary and I forget there are about 340,000 people who might be reading it."
So hindi na siya nagtu-tweet ngayon masyado?
"I don’t. Because I’m just... I don’t know. I tweet a little bit. But not as much as I used to.
"And it will come back in time. But right now, it’s just... the Internet is not the most important thing. Twitter is not the most important thing. The most important thing is becoming a better person."
At times na-online siya, dinadaanan pa ba niya ang Twitter account ni Rhian?
"Uhm... I know she stopped tweeting, I think. I’m not sure. So... right now, I just... dinadaanan ko na lang if I wanna see her picture."
Maliit lang ang mundo ng showbiz. Suppose sa isang event, biglang magkita o magkaharap sila ni Rhian?
"You know, I have no problem, I have no worries that we’re gonna be fine."
I-a-approach niya si Rhian?
"Yeah! I mean, she’s worth all the positive attention anyone can give. And that’s me or anyone else. No one should ever snub Rhian. She doesn’t deserve it."
Paano kung siya ang isnabin o hindi pansinin ni Rhian sa pagkakataon na hindi sinasadyang nagkita sila?
"She won’t. Because she’s a good person. So I don’t even doubt na that would happen. I know na if I see her, it will be okay with each other. I can’t understand why anyone would not say hi to her."
Sa tono ng pananalita ni Mo, talagang buo at solid na 100 percent love ang iniukol niya kay Rhian sa panahon na sila pa. Ngayon kaya?
"I’m going through hard times right now. But if you’re gonna ask me how much I love her, I mean, there’s nothing I can say.
"I think you can see it in my face and stuff like that. That I care about her.
"And anybody would. Whether it be me or someone else. If you spend enough time with her, you’ll realize that she is amazing."
At this point, what particular message would he like to extend to Rhian?
"I’ll just tell her na lang one day if I see her," sabi na lang ni Mo.
Hindi ba siya naaapektuhan na may mga taong tuwang-tuwa ngayon na wala na sila ni Rhian? Na may mga taong hindi talaga siya gusto na maging karelasyon ng dalaga?
"No. It’s okay.
"I mean, just as long as they won’t say anything bad about Rhian, I’m fine. I can take all the bad things they say about me. Part of me deserves this pain, and this anguish, and all of these things. So... alam ko, in-expect ko na ito.
"I appeal na lang to the people on the Internet, to the fans, writers, uhm... to stop putting her name in a negative light. I’ve already done that. Ah... I’ve made a mistake."