Pagkatapos ng siyam na taon, nagdesisyon sina Chynna Ortaleza at Railey Valeroso na magpahinga muna sa kanilang relasyon bilang magkasintahan.
Ito ang inamin ni Chynna sa exclusive interview sa kanya ng PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) noong Miyerkules, February 5, sa isang restaurant sa Shangri-La Plaza.
Nagsimula ang pag-iibigan nina Chynna at Railey noong nagkasama sila sa dating youth-oriented series ng GMA na Click.
Ngunit sa kabila ng akala ng marami na sila na ang magkakatuluyan, dahil sa tagal na nga ng kanilang relasyon, malungkot na kinumpirma ni Chynna ang desisyon nilang maghiwalay muna.
Saad ng 31-year-old Kapuso actress, “So far talaga, 2013 was a very big year for me.
“Kasi, I realIy had to decide and make an important decision.
“I had to take a break from romantic love, in general.
“I believe that people in love deserve to be the best versions of themselves as lovers and as individuals."
THE HARD DECISION. Halos sampung taon ang itinagal ng relasyon nina Chynna at Railey.
Ngunit kung pagbabasehan ang Instagram account nina Chynna at Railey nitong mga nakalipas na buwan, mapapansing halos wala na silang ipinu-post na mga larawang magkasama sila.
Hindi na rin sila nagtu-tweet sa isa’t isa.
Kaya marami sa followers nila ang nagtatanong kung break na ba sila.
Pahayag ni Chynna, “Well, at this point, yun nga, I’ve already decided to take a break from our romantic relationship.
“It was not a very easy decision, kasi inaral ko yun, pinag-pray ko yun, inisip ko yun nang mabuti.
“Ang akin kasi, in a relationship, you should always be able to grow, number one.
“And number two, love does not only exist within a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
“For me, love destroys a lot of boundaries.
“Just because, for example, you’re not in a relationship with this person, doesn’t mean that love is less.
“I had to do it because I love him.”
Paliwanag pa niya, “I had to make that decision for the both of us.
“Kasi, parang I felt na I had to make that decision because the relationship and the quality of our lives at that moment was not what God wanted for us.
“Parang, kumbaga, alam ko yun, e, na we were both not at the highest point of ourselves at that moment.
“It took so many signs before I allowed myself to really make a decision.
“I thought and reflected, I knew we had to take a rest for a while and find time to appreciate solitude before making a decision.
“I wanted to be confident in my soul that we were meant to be together.”
NINE YEARS IS NINE YEARS. Wala bang panghihinayang sa mahigit siyam na taong relasyon nila?
“Nine years is nine years,” sambit ni Chynna.
“I am very happy that we were able to stay together for that long.
“Naiisip ko nga minsan ano, kailangan namin ng medal for the kind of battle that we had.
“Kasi, we were really able to adjust to each other and fall madly and passionately in love.
“I don’t regret it.
“Actually, it was a beautiful example of young love.
“This pause—this had to happen.”
“Pause” lang ba sa relasyon nila ni Railey ang nangyayari sa kanila ngayon?
Saad ni Chynna, “I mean, after everything that happened, I actually thought before, when I was younger, na if you just work hard on a certain thing, you would be able to make them last forever.
“But the thing is, nothing in this world is certain.
“So, if you’ll ask me, ‘Is it final that you’ll never fall in love with him again or you’re never going to have a relationship with him again?’ I can’t answer that.
“I’ll never know what’s in store for me.
“I didn’t even know that I was going to be pushed into something like this by a higher power that I couldn’t resist.
“I swear to God, I was questioning Him the whole time while this was happening, because I had a pretty good life. Yun na ang paniniwala ko.
“Okay na ako, e. Masaya naman ako.
“Parang for me, I’m good. Why are you pushing me to jump?
“It wasn’t just me. It wasn’t my choice.
“It came from something more powerful.”
NO THIRD PARTY. Binigyang-linaw naman ni Chynna na walang third party sa paghihiwalay nila ni Railey.
“The reason for separation is definitely not a third party. Let me make that clear.
“Of course, a lot of people will start thinking that, but no, there was no third party.
“For me nga, it was an issue na parang a challenge and a test for me then na parang… well, it was a challenge and a test by God.
“We were not very God-centered in our relationship and, I think, He was really trying to move things for us so we can figure things out.
“Kaya parang sinasabi ni God, ‘Chynna, okay, you have to make this decision. I have given you nine years to be youthful.’
“Hay, we were two young people in love—very much so!”
Tinanong din ng PEP si Chynna kung may “falling out of love” ba na nangyari sa kanila ni Railey.
Tugon niya, “I can’t say that. I love him up to now.
“And I feel like it came at a point in our lives that He was trying to test us because after a while, if you think about it, ‘Nine years? What’s next after that?’
“Something much serious than what we have, which is a marriage and our own family.
“We were both not really thinking about that actively.
“But, feeling ko, that was what’s happening kaya nangyayari yun sa mundo ko, sa universe ko, yun ang nangyari.
“Parang tine-test kami ni God na, ‘Kaya mo bang pakawalan ‘yan for Me?’
“Kasi, sa totoo lang, if you think about it, saan ba umikot ang mundo namin pareho? Sino ba ang winorship namin?
“Umikot talaga ang mundo namin sa isa’t isa. And we completely forgot other things.
“You should really be able to make yourself a better person before you embrace another person.
“And I was thinking that and I was really trying hard to explain it.
“It was so vague kasi for me at that time."
STILL INCOMPLETE. Sabi pa niya, “For example, if he proposes to me during that time, I would have said yes.
“But the thing is, he’s going to marry an incomplete person.
“So, you don’t want to marry a person who will completely rely on you for everything that she needs.
“Like a validation of her worth, validation of her beauty, and sinasabi ko yun sa kanya.
“I couldn’t explain to him, it was so hard for me to understand.
“One day, I woke up and everything came flashing in my head.
“And I was like, ‘Why, why are you doing this to me? I can’t understand.’
“You know, the only thing that was clear was the thought that I had to give the relationship a rest.
“We needed to explore the world and see if this is really it, kasi lumiit nang lumiit ang mundo for us.
“And I couldn’t really bear to see a person that I came to love not reach his full potential.
“Yun ang sinasabi ko. Kasi, alam ko na he’s capable of a lot of things.
“I saw that before when we first got together.
“So, parang for me, the decision was heartbreaking.
“And I knew, it was going to rip me apart. I knew already that I was going to die, seriously.
“Everyone comes across this concept in their lives.
“Yung death kasi, parang iniisip ng tao, death, patay, sumakabilang-buhay...
“Pero sa totoo lang, maraming pangyayari sa buhay mo na you experience a personal death. I felt that.
“However, what I witnessed in those months and what my gut felt, I do not doubt.
“I feel this is a good decision for the both of us.”
MOVING ON. Ayaw nang idetalye pa ni Chynna kung ilang buwan na silang hiwalay ni Railey at kung sino ang nakipag-break.
Pero, naka-move on na ba siya ngayon?
Sagot ng aktres, “Moving on… I can’t say I’ve moved on fully.
“Kasi, parang it’s only been how many months and there are times when I still search for him
“But what’s good about sa progress ko is, unti-unti kong alam sa sarili ko na hindi ko makukuha ang gusto ko makuha from another person, or hindi ko puwedeng iasa ‘yan sa pamilya or sa kaibigan.
“Yung search ko talaga for what I need is just between me and, well, of course, I’m Catholic and I believe in God, yun talaga.
“Parang doon ako nakakapit at this point.”
Pero sabi nga ni Chynna, hindi biro ang siyam na taong relasyon nila.
Maituturing pa rin ba niyang kaibigan si Railey ngayon? May komunikasyon pa ba sila?
Sagot ng Kapuso actress, “I can say naman na the last time we talked with each other, it was very helpful for me and very helpful for him.
“Sabi ko nga sa kanya, ’You know, I will always be your friend no matter what.’
“Kasi, parang you had a very good relationship with this person for nine years.
“You cannot completely say that I will never be a friend to this person.
“I don’t believe in the concept na porke’t hindi kayo mag-boyfriend-girlfriend, hindi kayo puwedeng maging magkaibigan.
“Sinabi ko naman sa kanya na I’m always here to support him. And I will always be his friend if he needs me.
“He knows that.”
Dagdag niya, “Ang ganda nga ng time na ‘to kung tutuusin, ang dami kong natutunan tungkol sa pag-ibig.
“Parang hindi pala ito tumigil sa nag-break kami.
“Kasi, all of a sudden, kapag nakikita ko ang mga description about love, successful relationships about it, nakikita ko na these are really mature points of view na I was not at that point when we were together.
“Of course, merong qualities na buo sa amin, pero marami pang hindi namin natutunan.
“So, yun… basta ako, continuous lang ang investment ko sa sarili ko at this point.”
Pero mas pinili niyang manahimik simula nang mag-break sila. Bakit?
Paliwanag ni Chynna, “Yun nga, I had to keep quiet for a while because I wanted to heal personally without the help and opinion of countless people who don’t know me and who don’t know Railey.
“And I also respect the fact that, you know, my friend is not in showbiz anymore. I want to respect that.
“Kaya sinasabi ko na yung process namin, kinailangan siyang patahimikin muna para pareho naming maisip ang dapat maisip nang walang pakikialam ng iba.”