The mother of former Produce 101 Season 2 contestant Lee Ji Han has penned a heartbreaking letter for her late son.
Ji Han, 24, was among the 154 casualties of the Itaewon Halloween party crowd crush that happened on October 29, 2022.
Read: “Produce 101” Season 2 contestant Lee Ji Han among 154 dead in Itaewon Halloween tragedy
The heartbreaking letter was posted on the late actor's Instagram account on November 11, 2022. It was also shared by the Democratic Party of Korea in hopes of more probes into the tragedy.
The letter reads, as translated to English by Korean media outlet Allkpop:
"I'm Ji Han's mom, I wrote a letter like this just in case Ji Han could read it somewhere.
"I wanted to share this with everyone so that an event like this never happens again."
In the letter, Ji Han’s mother shared many private details of their mother-and-son relationship including her son being soft, kind, handsome, and passionate about his work.
She wrote, "Ji Han, ever since you were born, you had a sharp nose and were handsome. You were gentle even in my stomach, so I even touched it to say, 'Is he okay?'
"When I was raising you, you were so soft and kind that I thought I could raise 20 more people like you.
"You worked hard and put in a lot of effort before filming Kkokdu's Gye-jeol.
"You didn't skip a day of exercise, and I always felt so sad that you were controlling your diet because I used to hear you say so many times, 'Mom, can I eat more of this?'
"It was finally time for the effort to pay off, and the show was about to air. What a bolt out of the blue. I still can't believe it because what happened is so dumbfounding.
"When I fall asleep holding onto your phone with your picture by my bedside, your mom's heart is pounding because I'm afraid of the sun rising."
The grieving mother also questioned why he had to pass away before her.
"My first treasure who would say, 'Do you know how much I love you, Mom?' when I'd come into your room and would hold my hand once in a while. How can you go before me?
"At your funeral, when I saw the hundreds of acquaintances and friends who loved you, I felt even more overwhelmed by the thought 'our Ji Han was living well,' and I didn't want to search for the meaning of life anymore.
"I am afraid of the rising sun in the morning, and I am so hungry that I want to sew my mouth shut at the thought of ‘How can I put food in my mouth?’
"Ji Han would say, 'I can make money and buy it myself,' because you worried that it would be a burden on your mother if you wanted to buy something.
"I didn't know you also were also doing volunteer work. They always say 'Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.' You did such good deeds."
She then expressed her grief and anger at what happened.
She said, "Should I be thankful for it when police cars and motorcycles escorted your coffin-laden limousine? Or if they had escorted you well in the alley in Itaewon, you wouldn't have had to be escorted when you died.
"I'm so angry and resentful.
"I love you, son. I respect you, son. I miss you, son. Good job, son. Can't we see each other again? God, take me instead and return our Ji Han.
"I beg you. I hope you are doing well there, son, comfortably and painlessly."
She added, "Mom will follow you someday."
Ji Han joined the K-Pop idol search Produce 101 Season 2 in 2017.
He competed alongside Kang Daniel, Park Ji-Hoon, Lee Dae-Hwi, Kim Jae-Hwan, Ong Seong-Wu, Park Woo-Jin, Lai Kuan-Lin, Yoon Ji-Sung, Hwang Min-Hyun, Bae Jin-Young, and Ha Sung-Woon, who later debuted as Wanna One.
He ranked 98th in the show and was among the first batch of idol hopefuls who were eliminated early in the competition. After participating in the idol survival show, he starred in the web drama Today Was Another Nam Hyun Day in 2019.
Before his death, Ji Han was set to be part of the drama Season of Kkok Du in a supporting role.
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