Naging emosyonal si Sunshine Dizon nang mapag-usapan ang mga pinagdaanan niyang sakit nang maghiwalay sila ng asawang si Timothy Tan noong 2016.
Masalimuot ang hiwalayan nina Sunshine at Timothy dahil may third party umanong involved na nauwi pa sa sampahan ng kaso, bago naging maayos ang relasyon nilang mag-asawa para sa co-parenting arrangement sa kanilang dalawang anak.
Read: Sunshine Dizon thankful for co-parenting setup with estranged husband
Sa latest episode ng Fast Talk with Boy Abunda ngayong Lunes, February 13, 2023, diretsahang tinanong ng host na si Boy Abunda si Sunshine kung nakakaramdam pa rin ba siya ng pagmamahal sa asawa kahit matagal na silang hiwalay.
Mabilis na sagot ni Sunshine, "To be honest, I think the love hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin po mawawala."
Sundot na tanong ni Boy, "You still love your ex?"
Saad ni Sunshine, "Yes, but it's a different kind of love now.
"It's a love out of respect that he gave me two beautiful children, and I wouldn't have them if not for him."
Hirit pa ni Boy, "May kasabihan na sa pagpapatawad lamang that we actually set ourselves free. Napatawad mo na ba si Tim?"
Nag-isip pa ang aktres bago tuluyang sumagot na, "Oo at hindi.
"Oo, kasi nakikita ko kung gaano siya kahusay na ama sa mga anak niya.
"Hindi, kasi may mga bagay pa rin na, to be honest, I was not able to process the pain when it happened.
"And I'm just learning to process all the pain right now. Ngayon pa lang, Tito Boy, to be honest, after eight years.
"Because when that happened, I chose to work, I chose to survive. And all of the sudden, the pandemic happened, and I could see him every day, and I suddenly realized that galit pala ako, nasaktan pala ako."
Dito na rin nagsimulang maging emosyonal si Sunshine nang alalahanin kung paano niya kinuwestiyon ang sarili kung saan siya nagkulang.
Saad niya, "Sorry, I'm getting emotional. [Kasi] up to this day, I still question myself somehow, 'Saan ako nagkulang?'
"Hanggang ngayon wala pa rin [sagot] because Tim was my best friend. He was my confidante. He was my partner.
"And then, I just woke up one day and he's totally a different person. And that really hurts.
"And to this day, I cannot answer the fact because even when I ask him, he cannot answer."
Sambit ni Boy, "Baka hindi naman sa pagkukulang, saan ka sumobra?"
Diretsahang sagot ni Sunshine, "Hindi ko rin kayang sagutin, Tito Boy.
"I think I'm still in the process of answering all those questions now, because I wasn't like, what I said before, I was not able to deal with it properly.
"Ngayon pa lang bumabalik lahat, na parang, 'Ah, dapat pala hindi ako nag-refuse ng therapy noon, dapat pala I dealt with it properly at that time that I had to.'
"And now, parang [there] are days na even no matter how strong person you are, I still have those nights and days na, you know, it crosses your mind.
"Because you build this beautiful family and then, boom, one day your partner is someone you don't know anymore."
Noong December 3, 2022, na-diagnose na may post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, panic attacks, at abandonment issues si Sunshine.
Read: Sunshine Dizon diagnosed with "PTSD, depression, panic attacks, abandonment issues"
Na naging dahilan kung kaya't nagpabalik-balik siya noon sa ospital.
Read: Sunshine Dizon posts selfie despite health problems
"I CAN FORGIVE, BUT I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGET"
Natanong din ni Boy kung gaano katapang si Sunshine sa ngalan ng pag-ibig.
Napabuntong hininga muna ang aktres bago sumagot.
Aniya, "Alam mo, Tito Boy, noon siguro masasabi ko sobrang tapang ko, kasi galit ako.
"But I learned, you know, through time, galit ako noon kaya ako ganun katapang because nasaling ako, e."
Read: Sunshine Dizon admits "very complicated situation" with husband Timothy Tan
Galit pa ba siya ngayon?
Saad ni Sunshine, "I'm the type of person who probably can forgive, but I will never ever forget."
Marami na raw isinakripisyo si Sunshine nang dahil sa pagmamahal niya sa kanyang mga anak.
Lahad niya, "I really had to fight for my kids. I had to swallow a lot of things, my pride that nobody would never understand.
"Because our situation back then was very weird. We lived in the same house but different rooms.
"Because I wanted my children to have semblance of a whole family, and then somehow, you know, I'm not in the position to say this, but you know, my life is an open book.
"Lumuhod yung asawa ko. Mamamatay daw siya na hindi niya kasama yung mga anak niya, so pinagbigyan ko.
"I'm a mother, my kids were, like, what, four and three years old that time? I swallowed my pride because I wanted my kids to see that no matter what, nagkamali man ang tatay nila, pamilya pa rin kami."
SUNSHINE'S MESSAGE TO HERSELF
Hindi rin pinalagpas ni Boy ang pagkakataong paharapin si Sunshine sa salamin at kausapin ang kanyang sarili.
Ani Boy, "You're looking at that woman, sabihin mo sa kanya ang lahat ng gusto mong sabihin."
Naluluhang sambit ni Sunshine, "Just remember your worth and take each day as it is and with God's grace, you'll get there.
"All the burden and the pain you've been carrying for so long, you just wake up one day and you will be able to breathe freely."
May dasal din siya sa kanyang sarili.
Ani Sunshine, "To never give up and always see the good in everyone and continue to be a good mother, and just be a good human being.
"A very wise person once told me that, it doesn't matter where you came from, what school you came from, or kung saang antas ka galing sa buhay.
"Ang pinakaimportante raw sa buhay ay pakikipag-kapwa tao, and I hope dala ko yon hanggang sa dulo."
SUNSHINE'S MESSAGE TO HER KIDS
Sa huli, humingi ng tawad si Sunshine sa kanyang mga anak na hindi raw niya naibigay ang buo at masayang pamilyang pangarap nila.
Kalakip ang kanyang pangako na mananatili siyang nasa tabi ng mga ito ano't ano man ang mangyari.
Sabi niya, "I tried my best and I'm sorry that the promise of a perfect family did not happen, but we tried.
"And no matter what happens, dad will always be there and mama will always be there, and we will always love you."
Read: Sunshine Dizon on her GMA-7 comeback: "I'm free to work with anyone I want to."