Ano raw? 5 Things we can all learn from Aling Marites

Every Filipino knows an “Aling Marites.” She’s that neighbor who’s always updated on the latest gossip and doesn’t mind sharing it. But did you know that being Aling Marites has played an important role in Philippine society since before the Spaniards came?

“The probable ancestor of the Marites was the umalohokan, or the town crier during pre-Hispanic Philippines,” says Prof. Nestor T. Castro, PhD., a social anthropologist currently teaching at UP Diliman. 

When the Philippines was colonized by Spain, however, the government decided that any official news could only come from the Spanish authorities and their loyal subjects. Everything else was considered tsismis (the Spanish word for “gossip”), and that included all the stories being shared by the umalohokan.

This made tsismis a much more trusted source of information among Filipinos, since it came from people known by the community. “Thus, in colonial Philippines,” Castro explains, “The tsismis was generally anti-establishment and therefore, revolutionary.” The umalohokan kept the community informed about social events, economic activities, threats of war, spiritual news, and environmental conditions. 

Today, being the source of tsismis can be a mixed bag. A Marites is often seen as a source of drama, and sometimes, a spreader of lies. Castro, however, believes that gossip can serve a lot of good in modern society, as long as Marites does the following:

1. She diffuses inner stress and anger

“The Marites serves as the local psychiatrist,” Castro says. “She (or he) is someone who you confide your problems with. This is because the Marites has a good listening ear.”

A “good” Marites understands how her stories can help people open up about their own problems. When she tells you about a neighbor’s health struggles, she’s also telling you it’s okay to let her know about yours.

“You find out that your problem is not just yours alone, but there are others who share the same concern—which you learn from the information provided by Marites.”

2. She reinforces social bonds

“Definitely, stories derived from gossip strengthen the bonds among friends and colleagues,” says Castro. “Usually, tsismisan among friends comes together when you’re having meryenda or, especially in the male barkada, while having inuman where the tsismis is just one of the pulutan.”

As long as Marites focuses on bringing people together instead of driving them apart, he/she can be a welcome member of any friend group especially if he/she can provide great information like where your kapitbahay bought that new refrigerator at discount price!

3. She helps us care about others

Because Marites is good at listening to other people’s problems, Castro says she can also be great at getting them the help they need.

“The Filipino psychologist Virgilio Enriquez rightly mentioned that pakikipagkapwa is the core value of Filipinos,” he explains. “The Marites confides to us stories about people who are in need. Thus, the stories told by Marites can trigger some people to cooperate and do an activity that is for the welfare of somebody else.”

So whenever a Marites you know gives unsolicited advice on where you can buy a thoughtful gift for your husband or wife because "No offense pero kapag kausap ko asawa mo sa phone parang ang sakit lang sa tenga. May alam akong afford niyo na phone na maganda!" Just accept it because he or she means well and probably knows what she's talking about.

4. She helps us improve ourselves

According to Castro, the tsismis we get from Marites can also be an indirect form of feedback.

“Filipinos value the mukha, i.e. how you are perceived in the public sphere. Thus, tsismis—whether positive or negative—pushes you to improve your public self and hopefully, also your private self, i.e. the side of you that is not seen in the public eye.”

If we reflect on why Marites’ stories affect us personally, we can learn how to become better versions of ourselves. If a Marites you know says she knows someone that could look much better if he or she gets rid of her tacky-looking bag collection while staring directly into your eyes, maybe it's time to take the hint. 

5. She shares trustworthy, reliable, and useful news

The biggest thing that separates a good Marites from a not-so-good one is the kind of news she spreads. Castro believes that a good Marites is one that verifies her information before she shares it.

“We cannot just close our ears to gossip,” he says. “However, we should be an ethical and responsible Marites.  Together with the ‘original’ story, incorporate in the new story our verified sources and correct misinformation from previous stories.”

Whether it’s about upcoming vaccination drives at the barangay basketball court, or even simpler things like great deals she found at Home Credit’s Online Madness Sale, Marites needs to make sure that any info she shares is supported by fact.

What’s equally important is how she shares it, according to Castro. Marites needs to shake off our culture’s tendency to focus on the negative side of things and learn to balance it with the good. “Avoid being judgemental and discriminatory. Be sensitive about the feelings of others.  Incorporate solutions and recommendations when we hear about the problems of others.”

As Prof. Castro says, Aling Marites is here to stay. She’s been a part of Filipino culture since the beginning, and will continue to be one for as long as people listen to stories.

The question is, will you be a Marites for good?

Get more interesting insights about Filipino culture by checking out Prof. Castro’s Facebook page. Learn more about the Buy Now, Pay Later deals from the Home Credit Online Madness Sale all the Mariteses are talking about by visiting their website and socials! Don't miss your chance because it's happening right now until February 28, 2022. Download the My Home Credit Philippines app now!

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