Fearless, sharp, and extraordinary. That was the late Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago and that's how she will always be remembered.
Our history books will likely refer to her as “The Iron Lady of Asia.”
She repeatedly stood up for what she believed was right and constitutional. She stood out in a realm dominated by men.
She also served in all three branches--legislative, judicial, and executive--of the government.
But she wouldn't have cared less how history will decide to remember her.
During the latter part of her life, Miriam would simply want to live through the memories of her family.
She looked tough, and even admitted "I lived like a robot" in an interview with The Philippine Star.
But being a mother was the one role she took to heart.
“It’s really like a precursor to some other universe where people just love each other for the other’s sake and not for any other ulterior motive.
"I think it changes you forever.”
Daughter and sister
As the eldest among seven siblings, much was expected from the first daughter of Judge Benjamin Defensor and retired college dean Dimpna Palma-Defensor.
Her mother, particularly, had kept telling her to be “domineering.”
Miriam and her siblings were raised to be “very bright people and it’s a great disappointment to all our ancestors if we did not live up to the family standards.”
In an interview with GMA’s Powerhouse in April 2012, her now 92-year-old mother said, “She should study what needs to be studied because she will be tested the next day. She must study what needs to be studied whether she likes it or not.”
She learned the value of education early in life and dove into every opportunity to improve herself all the way into adulthood.
That way, too, she showed to her siblings that quality education was the starting point for a better life.
Wife
Miriam became Mrs. Narciso "Jun" Santiago, also a lawyer, in 1971.
He helped her fulfill her promise that she would make sure her siblings finish their studies.
The senator was proud to say that all of them became outstanding students and, eventually, doctors and lawyers.
Miriam reflected on her marriage in an interview with CNN Philippines, "We are very best friends, we are the best confidants. He knows me thoroughly.
"My husband and I are so different from each other that when we got married, we agreed that each would lead a separate life not governed or oppressed by the other just because we got into marriage."
In her interview with Powerhouse, she mentioned about letting go of your ego.
"I noticed immediately as a thinking individual; when you get married, there seems to be a rivalry of two egos. So if you kill your ego, there’s no problem.
"And to fight with someone who’s going to be with you for the rest of your life is so counter-productive. What’s going to be the results?”
Despite the many things she had to accomplish each day, Miriam dutifully took care of her husband’s laundry. She loved to to cook, too.
Until the very end, they were husband and wife.
H omemaker
As mother to two sons, Archie and AR, believe it or not, Miriam wasn't as strict as her mother had been to her and her siblings.
"I turned against everything that my mother applied to us because I felt it was too demanding, and no person can possibly live up to those demands.
"I didn’t ever want my children to suffer like I did."
She told her sons, "If you pass your grades, I’ll be happy.
"It is more important to have a happy life than to have a successful life because success, you can define in many ways. Just being happy is a success of itself."
On top of that, Miriam wanted her home to be a sanctuary for everyone.
"It is a nest of silence where everybody is accepted for what he is. No matter how hurt we are out there or how guilty we have been outside, we’re always accepted. That’s my idea of a house.”
Her mini-library was her special nook in the house.
Mother
As much as Miriam wanted to be a dedicated mother, Miriam's work as a public servant had made things difficult.
In so many ways, she did her best to make it up to her children.
"I was a very demonstrative mother. I would hug and kiss all the time and my children go running away from me and say, 'Dad, stop her. She’s manic!'"
The former legislator further recounted in her Powerhouse episode, "My sons were intelligent enough to understand that these were things I had to—that there were demons ruling me and that I had to act according to my demons."
But there were some instances when reasoning and small affections weren't enough.
"One time, I rushed home just to change my clothes because I had another engagement.
"My youngest son, whom I later lost, was home that day, and he was very happy because he thought I was already free only to realize I jumped back into the car.
"He was so mad at me, he shouted back at me, ‘You’re not the real mother! You’re just a pretend mother!’"
Motherhood had also ushered in one of the biggest storms that the strong-willed politician had to weather—the suicide of AR (right most) in 2003.
In an emotionally charged moment during her interview on Rated K in 2005, Miriam said, "Kung alam ko lang na ganyan swerte ko, hindi na ako nagpagaling bilang estudyante, bilang isang abugada. Wala rin palang kwenta, e. What can be more important than a child?”
Almost ten years after, in an interview with GMA, she showed again that rare vulnerable side of her.
"When you had so much love and you put it so much hope for the future; and you try to bring him up to the best of your abilities and let him imbibe in moral, ethical values and all of the sudden, he’s gone.
"Of course, it made me question my faith. Suffering I can understand, when its necessary, but what about the suffering of the innocent? What kind of universe is this? You’ve got to be a poor and incompetent God.
"I’ll never be over the death of my son."
Grandmother
One of the last photos posted on the Facebook account of the late senator captured her playtime with her husband and three of their five grandchildren.
As the Iron Lady returned to her life as a private citizen on July 1, Miriam poured her attention on her five grandchildren, their ages ranging from two to eight years old.
In her interview with CNN Philippines, the proud grandmother boasted that all five "are scheduled for law school."
She doted, "They are very, very assertive. I can’t get a word in!”
For Miriam, family was her anchor.
In the same interview with CNN Philippines, "That is the essence, I think, of family love, that you should be the comfort and the haven of a person who is battered by the world.
"When he or she comes home, there should be a presence there that enables him [or her] to still make sense out of an irrational world."
Rest in peace, Miriam Defensor Santiago.