Melai Cantiveros, moms reveal various ways to discipline children

by Emmy Burce
Jul 14, 2019
Melai Cantiveros stops her daughters from fighting by using the "face the wall" and luhod methods. Her ways of disciplining her children are somewhat traditional.
PHOTO/S: @mrandmrsfrancisco on Instagram

As a parent, Melai Cantiveros is generally a "pa-cool-cool" mom, but switches to "strict-strict" mode when her daughters become pasaway.

Her latest Instagram post revealed how she addressed the latest "away" of Mela, 5, and Stela, 2.

In Bisaya, the wife of Jason Francisco wrote in the caption, "Kami sauna pag gaAway mi diretsu Luhod tapos sabayan ug asin ang tuhod sabay ampo...Karun kay English na #FaceTheWall na , sabay japun Ampo ug sorry sa usag usa, tapos realization nganu giparusahan, para makakat on . ug pohon mangadagko sila , mudako nga naay maayu nga pamatasan . Tama man? Kamu unsaun ninyu disiplinahun inyung mga anak , Comment na...mao ning gitawag na #Merese para kay @atemelafrancisco @stelarosalind, kay gaaway mn, #AwaypaMore para #LuhodPaMore"

One of her followers explained what the comedienne meant, "...sabi na momshie melai, kung mag-away daw yung dalawang anak niya, pinapaluhod daw niya..."

As shown in the photo, she also let them face the wall.

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Almost 500 followers revealed their disciplining methods, and these were the top answers.

DISCIPLINING METHOD 1: SPANKING

It turned out, a lot of them believed in spanking their kids with either tsinelas or belt or hanger.

Melai herself has been using hangers, color-coded at that.

In her previous interview with PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal), the Magandang Buhay co-host related, "Hindi naman ako proud na hina-hanger ko ang anak ko, pero hindi naman ako nagkakamay, hanger lang talaga.

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"Yung hanger na yun, color-coded. Pag pink pa, medyo hindi pa galit, pero pag black na, yun na talaga yung storm signal number 10."

The colors, she said, help her kids easily know the extent of their mistake.

"Napalo na siya ng mga color-coded na yun kaya alam niya kung ano yung pinakamasakit doon, kaya siya nakikinig, kaya siya mabilis kausap.

"Kasi kapag dinidisiplina ko siya, hindi yung salita lang ako.

"Gusto ko yung salita ko, 'Look at me, eye to eye.'

"And then, i-explain ko, 'Ano yung sinabi ko sa iyo?'

"Pinapabalik ko sa kanya, bawal ang ganito, para alam kong naintindihan niya."

A netizen joined the online discussion and stressed the importance of making her kids say sorry to each other "with matching yakap" after spanking them.

A number of moms reiterated, "dapat i-explain," especially if the kid is a toddler.

Meanwhile, a mom said she would only spank her kids after three mistakes. For the first mistake, she would give them a verbal warning.

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"Una, bawal muna, second, wala pa rin, third, tig-iisang pamalo."

DISCIPLINING METHOD 2: LUHOD

Other parents did the traditional "luhod" method with either rock salt or monggo, and a few of them said it was also their parents and grandparents' way of making them learn from their mistakes.

A mom affirmed how it became unforgettable for her daughter.

"Three years old ang anak ko nung time na pinaluhod ko sa may asin. Pinagpawisan anak ko at umiiyak. Lumipas ang panahaon, nagkaisip at dalaga na, tinanong ko kung ano ang naalala niya nung maliit pa siya na hinding-hindi niya makakalimutan.

"Sabi ng anak ko, 'Mama...natandaan ko yung pinaluhod mo ako sa asin.'

"Sagot ko, 'Natandaan mo yun anak?'

"Sabi niya, 'Opo, mama. Takot na takot ako nun, Mama, ah.'

"Naawa ako sa anak ko, niyakap ko siya. Sabi ko, gusto ko lumaki ka na may respeto sa magulang at maging mabuting tao at hindi pabigat sa mundo at higit sa lahat, may takot sa Diyos.

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"Sa awa ng Diyos, mabait ang anak ko. Maraming salamat sa paggabay ng Panginoon."

Melai, as mentioned in her post, did the luhod method with "face the wall."

One mom did the same, and made her two kids fit in one shirt to remind them that they have no choice but to stick together.

A mom threw in, "Ipaluhod sa harap ng Mama Mary altar."

DISCIPLINING METHOD 3: TALK IT OUT

Some moms preferred the "masinsinang usapan" or talking things out.

One commented, "Ayoko magpalo sa anak, ni kurot ayaw ko, kausapin ko lang nang masinsinan. Di ko kaya magkurot sa anak. Sakit dibdib ko. Di ko nga kaya mapalo ng palad yung puwet."

An OFW (overseas Filipino worker) said she and her kid would lock themselves in a room, and "harapan kami mag-usap if tama ba yung ginawa nga o hindi."

No one (even the dad) enters and leaves the room "hangga't di niya alam mali niya."

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Meanwhile, one mom said she would listen to her child first before reacting.

"Kahit may mali siya, I give them a chance to explain..."

DISCIPLINING METHOD 4: OTHER PUNISHMENT

A number of moms believed in "punishment."

But KidsHealth.org reminded parents that this method may not work on babies and toddlers, who are "unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment," hence, they will only feel the pain of the hit.

It also underlined the need for setting the rules, and letting the kids understand the connection between actions and consequences.

The Instagram followers of @mrandmrsfrancisco mentioned various ways they punished their kids.

One wrote, "Jumping jack 100 counts."

A fan interjected, "susulat sila nang 100x na hindi na po kami uulit at patawad po."

There ware also parents who did the "no gadget punishment" or kept the charger for a certain period of time.

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WHAT MELAI AND MOMS HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH AFTER DISCIPLINING THEIR KIDS?

Majority of them said:

1. Para hindi maging spoiled.

2. Para hindi na ulitin.

3. Para hindi makalimutan.

In her previous interview with PEP.ph, Melai related, "Ang wish ko na lang, ma-maintain yung tinuturo ko, lumaki si Mela na ma-maintain yung good values na tinuturo ko.

"Yung values kasi na iyan, hindi kasi tinuro mo ng four years old, nadadala na niya, hindi.

"Kailangan mong ituro nang endless iyan hanggang tumanda para madala niya hanggang sa magiging anak niya, sa magiging apo niya.

"Yun lang ang hinihiling ko, hindi ako maghiling ng kahit na anong bagay na material kasi siya ang magpo-form noon sa sarili niya, hindi naman ako.

"So ang wish ko lang, madala niya yung mga values na naturo ko."

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Melai Cantiveros stops her daughters from fighting by using the "face the wall" and luhod methods. Her ways of disciplining her children are somewhat traditional.
PHOTO/S: @mrandmrsfrancisco on Instagram
  • This article was created by . Edits have been made by the PEP.ph editors.
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