Maraming taon nang nakabase sa Amerika ang dating aktres na si Beth Tamayo.
Dito siya nakabuo ng pamilya kasama ang kanyang American husband na si Adam Hutchinson at ang unica hija nilang si Sloane, na magse-celebrate ng kanyang third birthday sa August 29, 2024.
Sa pamamagitan ng Facebook Messenger, kinumusta ng PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) kung kumusta ang journey ni Beth bilang isang first-time mom.
“How time flies,” umpisang bulalas ni Beth.
“How has journey been? It’s been great! It’s like ah, you know, alam mo naman, I’ve always prayed for Sloane. I’ve always wanted to have a baby, kahit na isa lang.
“And we’re very grateful that we were are blessed with one. She’s a miracle."
Kuwento ni Beth, dahil sa kagustuhan niyang magka-anak ay dumaan siya sa proseso ng in-vitro fertilization (IVF), kahit noon pang karelasyon niya ang Chinese national na si Johnny Wong.
Read: Beth Tamayo, 43, nabuntis sa pamamagitan ng in vitro fertilization
Aniya, "We had to go thru IVF, and even before when I was still in Manila with my first husband, with Johnny before, I also went through IVF, right?
“So same process with Sloane. I had to go thru IVF, and luckily, and praise God that on our first transfer we were blessed with Sloane!"
BETH ON RAISING SLOANE
Naranasan ni Beth noon ang magpalaki ng kanyang mga pamangkin, pero iba raw pala kapag sarili mong anak.
Paglalahad niya, “It’s been great but siguro iba talaga, like sa mga pamangkin ko halos lahat, karamihan sa kanila, it’s like they grew up with me, they grew up being with me when I was still there.
“Iba pag sarili mong anak. You know, that you have to discipline and like right now, Sloane’s at the age that she’s curious about a lot of things.
"It’s fun stage because yung kakulitan, nakakatawa na lang din.
"But sometimes, you know, alam mo na may katigasan ang ulo, not listening and pahabaan talaga ng pasensiya."
"Challenging" din daw ang pagpapalaki kay Sloane, lalo na noong umpisa.
Kuwento ni Beth, “I guess it’s also quite challenging for us at the beginning, at the beginning and even up to now.
“We don’t have family here with us. It was just me and Adam. So when she was born, we don’t have help. Kami lang din talaga.
“My in-laws are in the Midwest, they’re in Iowa and my half-sister’s in SoCal.
"So you know, it’s not like, yung diyan sa Pilipinas, there’s so many people who are able to help you.
“And because labor is cheap at home diyan sa Manila, it’s easy to get like a yaya or whatever right away."
Ang kagandahan naman daw nito ay naging hands-on sila sa pagpapalaki sa kanilang anak.
"I guess the positive or the good side of that is like we’re pretty hands-on with taking care of Sloane.
"Kasi kami talaga from the very beginning, and I was on maternity leave when she born on August.
"I went back to the office end of January na, and Adam was working from home.
"But still, iba pa din like yung puyat and figuring out how to take care of a baby of your own.
“Alam mo yun, yung parang, ‘Ah okay, there’s no handbook on how to really like, raise them.' I mean, there is, but it’s different you know, it’s really different."
BETH ON BEING A WORKING MOM
Aminado naman si Beth na minsan ay nakakaramdam siya ng stress at anxiety, lalo na't pinagsasabay niya ang pagiging nanay sa kanyang full-time job.
Aniya, “Sabi ko nga, I dunno, I’ve been feeling this na parang sometimes I feel bad na, or siguro may anxiety lang ako, may stress lang ako na like you know kapag Sloane is not listening to me or kay daddy, kay Adam, like naiinis ako. Yung pasensiya ko talaga umiikli na.
"I guess because I work full-time, we work full-time, we have an 8-to-5 job that’s kinda like stressful also and whatnot, wala naman kaming katulong dito."
Bukod sa pagtatrabaho ay inaasikaso ni Beth ang pagpapatakbo sa kanilang household at pag-aalaga kay Sloane at sa kanilang aso na si Lily.
“So kami lahat, like everything, from cleaning up, taking care of the kids, just like, kids kasi kasama na si Lily doon, so walking the dog and planning everything and keeping them entertained.
"Tapos, ikaw pa din ang mag-iisip ng pagkain ng lahat ng tao,” at natawa si Beth.
“Breakfast, lunch, dinner, at ikaw na rin ang magluluto nun. So sometimes you know, wala na talagang energy and all. We just order food
“So minsan at the end of the day, wala ka na talaga halos energy and pasensiya tapos ayaw pang makinig ng anak mo sa iyo."
Naisip din ni Beth na hindi siguro niya ito mararamdaman kung nasa Pilipinas silang mag-anak.
Lahad niya, "Sabi ko nga, siguro kung sa Pilipinas ito never iinit yung ulo ko kasi, you know, we have all the help that we need.
“May driver ka, may katulong ka, and you have relatives, lolo, lola, or may mga househelp, and also mga kamag-anak mo are just there helping you out.
“So basically, you know, the kids get the best of their parents kasi they only work. Iintindihin mo lang yung sa trabaho kasi I don’t have to think about other things.
“Hindi ko na iisipin yung laundry, hindi ko na iisipin yung pagkain, hindi ko na iisipin yung ganyan."
Pero hindi ito ang karanasan ni Beth, na sa gitna ng pagiging working mom ay sinisikap ding mag-train para makasali sa mga marathon.
Pagmamalaki niya, "I also like to stay sane. I run marathons, so I train for marathons.
"So it’s just like a lot of juggling on my part like being a mom, being a full-time working mom and at the same time trying to still, parang keep my passion with regards to running na active pa din."
Dahil dito ay sobrang busy ni Beth, at aminado ang aktres na umiikli ang kanyang pasensya kay Sloane.
“Because we have so many things on our plate, minsan may mga time talaga na medyo matataasan mo siya ng boses, medyo magagalit ka and all.
“And at the end of the day sometimes pag natulog na siya I feel bad na parang, ‘Why did I raise my voice on her?’
“I should have been more patient or whatever, but you know I’m only human and I get tired and I get all these things," pag-amin niya.
Sa kabila ng lahat, mailalarawan pa rin ni Beth ang kanyang motherhood journey bilang "great."
Giit niya, “It’s challenging on the downside, the upside is it’s just you know, Sloane brings so much joy in this house.
"And I guess for me and Adam, we are just like really blessed to have her and be blessed with a daughter, so yeah.”
BETH'S IVF JOURNEY
Matagal naghintay si Beth na mabuntis.
Was there a point na muntik na siyang sumuko? Handa na ba sana siyang tanggapin na hindi na siya magkaka-baby?
Lahad niya, “Yeah, it took forever, actually! Even before in my previous marriage, I had a miscarriage with the two IVF.
"And then after that, when I moved here, I guess it’s also with age?
“Kasi nung nasa Manila nga ako, I was in my mid-20s and yet, you know, hindi rin nag-work yung IVF sa akin.
"But I’m so happy and so lucky and so blessed that in my 40s, yung first transfer ko e nag-work pa.
“I guess, you know, over the years yung science, of course, nag-advance na and nag-improve na and all."
Kahit na matagal siyang naghintay, naniniwala si Beth na "timing is everything."
"I guess before wasn’t the perfect time and now is the best time.
"Like, you know, I met my husband here and yeah, nag-try kami, we started with IVF in 2020.
"And after that we transferred Sloane in January 2021 and gave birth in August.
“She was four weeks early than my due date, excited lumabas,” at tumawa si Beth.
“So yeah I have been waiting for a while, simula pa nung bata pa ako. Even in my mid-20s, I’ve always wanted to have kids. And luckily, forty-plus na ako nabigyan.
“At that time I told myself na I would give it another shot with Adam, when we got engaged and got married, I told myself na I would give it…
"Kasi aside from the fact na IVF is not covered by insurance here in America so it’s really expensive 'cause you pay everything out of your own pocket.”
Pinag-usapan daw nila ni Adam ang tungkol sa IVF at nagtabi ng pera mula sa kanilang savings para sa mga gagastusin sa proseso.
“And yeah, we just said, ‘You know what? We’ll gonna give it a try one time, one time, big time. And if it works, thank you Lord!'
“Kapag hindi, sabi ko, okay naman na ako sabi ko tatanggapin ko na lang na best auntie ako or best ninang ako,” at muling natawa si Beth.
“So yeah, I actually came to a point na I’m fine, hindi naman siya magiging parang kawalan sa akin, like it’s not gonna make me feel that I’m not enough.
“I have all my pamangkins who I love dearly and loves me back dearly, so that’s more than enough. And you know, sa mga inaanak ko din who are close to me, so okay na ako dun.
“And na-bless nga ako with Sloane, so everything is great and thank you, Lord!”
BETH'S PREGNANCY STORY
Noong unang beses na nalaman ni Beth na sa wakas ay nagdadalang-tao siya, ano ang pakiramdam?
“When I got the news that I was pregnant, I was so over the moon, I was so, so happy,” bulalas ni Beth.
Kasama sa mga una niyang sinabihan sina Judy Ann Santos, ang long-time best friend niyang si Anna Melissa Dasig, ang megastar na si Sharon Cuneta, at ang manager ni Judy Ann na si Mary Jane Buencamino.
Kuwento niya, “I sent videos to my family, and to my close friends, ayan sina Juday, sina Anna, si ate Sharon, si mommy Jane to, like. pray for me.
“Kasi siyempre, I was actually, even if I know, kasi sa atin medyo, sa Pilipinas very, very particular sila with age, e. ‘Naku thirty-plus!’
“Lalo naman ako, I was forty-three turning forty-four when I had Sloane.
"So you know, alam mo naman sa Amerika, people are more, like, delaying having kids.
“Parang you know, they think about their careers first, or kinda, like, build their future before starting a family.
"Dito kasi parang ganun na yung mga bata, mga millennials or something.
“They just wanna be able to enjoy life, and then make a good career, and then settle down after that.
"So for me at my age, when I got the news that I was pregnant, I was so happy. But at the same time, medyo parang ninenerbiyos na, ‘Oh my God!’
“I’m like, ang tanda ko na! I mean, I was trying to be healthy, I’ve always been active, so I didn’t stop running, I was running until I was six months pregnant.
“If I wasn’t running, I was actually doing spinning classes, like cycling classes.
“During the pandemic, lakad everyday. Thank God for Lily our dog who keeps me active and just like walking her all the time, every day.
“And yeah like I was really happy!”
BETH ON DAUGHTER SLOANE
Kanino mas nagmana ng traits and looks si Sloane, sa mommy o sa daddy niya?
Pakli niya, “I think looks, I don’t know. Like, some people have said na yung eyes to the nose kay Adam, and then from the mouth down it’s mine.
“I think hati kami, at ang puti niya, she’s really white, I mean my husband’s white.
“Traits? It could be mixed."
Ginawa ring batayan ni Beth sa kanyang sagot ang astrology.
Paliwanag niya, "She’s born a Virgo and I’m a Virgo also.
"But yung pagka-Virgo ko nasa cusp ng Libra kasi September 21.
“So hindi ko masyadong nakuha ang pagka-perfectionist ng Virgo. Ang nanay ko ang perfectionist kasi Septmber 5,” pagtukoy naman ni Beth sa ina niyang si Mommy Zeny Tamayo.
“So malamang si Sloane parang ganun din,” at natawa si Beth.
“I hope not, huwag namang masyado.”
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