Bettina Carlos reveals how she raised a daughter who threw a tantrum only once

IMAGE Roni Lopez

Bettina Carlos on why it's better to ignore kids who are throwing a tantrum: "Kailangan talagang tiisin kasi that's only for a few seconds versus having to deal with a naglulupasay kid for the rest of her childhood."


Each time you see a "naglulupasay sa iyak" kid, what do you do?

Instinctively, you would want to pacify her, right?

But experienced moms would tell you, "No!"

Doing so would make her think she can get what she wants by crying, screaming, kicking, and rolling on the floor.

Bettina Carlos is proud that her daughter Gummy threw a tantrum only "once in her whole life."

She related to PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) in a Jollibee event, "It happened in the mall.

"I left her, kasi nababasa ko yung sa parenting books, pag pinansin mo yung bata, lalo mong pinu-fuel, lalo silang nag-iinarte.

"Nag-inarte siya, naglulupasay siya sa floor."

What did she do?

"Tumalikod ako ‘tapos lakad lang. ‘Tapos mamaya, humabol.

"Kailangan talagang tiisin kasi that’s only for a few seconds versus having to deal with a naglulupasay kid for the rest of her childhood."

Moving on, Bettina remembered telling this to Gummy, "Sabi ko sa kanya, ‘You realize that you’re not getting what you want by crying, right? You’re not gonna get what you want by making a scene.’

"Sabi ko, ‘How do you get what you want?’

"She answered, ‘By asking.’

"'Okay, so now you ask me properly.’

"Binigay ko yung hinihingi niya."

She swore it was effective because "she never repeated it."

Gummy is now five years old.

"When that happened, she was two years old.

"You really have to start young.

"You have to be firm and show her, ‘Ay hindi ito gumagana sa nanay ko, hindi ko na uulitin.’”

In case this does not work, Bettina said, "Siguro you just really have to be an authoritative figure sa kanya.

"I think the secret to that is she grew up close to me, that’s why I can directly influence her, and obedience is her automatic response.

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"Parang response na may authority because she knows I am the mom not because takot siya sa ‘kin.”

She also encouraged communicating with your child as soon as she can already talk.

"Bata pa lang iyan, alam na niyang, ‘Every thing I make you do is for your own good, if you don’t follow mommy, something happens to you. It’s either you get hurt or you’re madapa ka or you displease God.’

"So maaga pa lang, yung foundations na iyon, naituro ko na sa kanya, that’s why now, it’s easy for her to obey because yun ang ano niya, yun ang setting niya.”

But it’s not like her bilin is always the law.

"I ask her, ‘You okay with that?’ There’s a consensus."


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