Trigger warning: Mentions of assault, self-harm
Dahil sa biglaang pagpanaw ng social media influencer na si Emman Atienza sa hindi pa tinutukoy na dahilan, muling binalikan ng ilang netizens ang post niya sa Instagram noong January 9, 2025.
Tungkol ito sa kanyang mental health journey na sa matagal na panahon daw ay pinaglabanan niya.
Read: Social media influencer Emman Atienza dies at 19
Sa post, inamin ng anak ng Kapuso TV host na si Kim Atienza na pagpasok pa lang ng 2024 ay nagkaroon na siya ng tanong sa sarili kung deserving pa ba siyang mabuhay.
Pagbabahagi ni Emman, nagsimula siyang sumailalim sa mental health treatment noong dose anyos pa lamang siya.
Ngunit kahit may ekspertong tumutulong sa kanya, pakiramdam daw noon ng dalaga ay hindi siya gumagaling at lalo lang lumalala ang kanyang nararamdaman, dala ng trauma at pambu-bully na naranasan niya noong bata pa lamang siya.
Read: Emman Atienza denies corruption funds her lavish lifestyle
Mababasa sa post ni Emman (published as is): "i came into 2024 unsure if i even wanted to live to see the end of it.
"i've dealt with treatment-resistant mental illness since i was 12. in my eyes, i was only getting worse as the years passed.
"for half of my teen years, i was bullied.
"id try to talk to my peers, only to be met with dry, uninterested responses.
"i vented and trauma-dumped to friends so often that they eventually grew tired of hearing it—understandably so.
"i lied to my therapist about getting better because i was scared they'd be disappointed if i kept admitting that i didn't want to live."
Read: BTS, Nadine Lustre fans clap back at Emman Atienza’s remarks
Alleged sexual abuse
Nang tumuntong sa edad na 18 si Emman, sa mismong araw ng kanyang birthday, muli raw siyang pinahirapan ng kanyang mapanlinlang na isipan.
Aminado siyang muling sumagi sa isip niyang saktan ang sarili, kahit halos dalawang taon na niya itong iniwasan.
Dahil dito, natakot si Emman sa maaaring mangyari sa kanya kaya’t muli niyang isinailalim ang sarili sa intensive therapy sa Los Angeles, California.
Read: Emman Atienza airs side over viral "PHP130k dinner" video
Pagbabalik-tanaw niya: "on my birthday in 2024, i relapsed in self-harm after nearly two years of being sober.
"that same month, i went to LA for intensive therapy: five hours a day, five days a week, for several months.
"during that time, i processed past traumas and hit new lows. i'd play the same song on repeat for hours to dissociate, pretending to disappear.
"id come back from therapy sessions screaming into my pillow or crying in the bathtub."
Ngunit sa kalagitnaan ng kanyang pagpapagamot, naranasan daw ni Emman na ma-"roofied" o mabigyan ng rape drug nang hindi niya alam.
Aniya, "in this same era, i was roofied and assaulted."
Emman’s return to the Philippines marked a new chapter in hER recovery
Makaraan ang masalimuot na pinagdaanan sa Amerika, napagdesisyunan daw ni Emman na bumalik sa Pilipinas—bitbit ang kanyang pag-asang dito siya gagaling at magiging payapa.
Kahit may naririnig na negatibong komento sa kanyang pag-alis, minabuti raw ni Emman na ipagsawalang bahala ito dahil nais niyang magbagong buhay sa Pilipinas kasama ang kanyang pamilya.
Lahad niya (published as is): "when i returned to the philippines, i had a fresh perspective but low optimism and deep doubts about whether i could truly get better.
"i was greeted with snide comments and insults behind my back about my time in los angeles. people said i didn't deserve a "vacation" and called me lazy and cowardly for leaving.
"but i also came back determined to make changes in my life. i cut off unhealthy habits, environments, and relationships.
"i made slow but meaningful adjustments: i learned new coping mechanisms, grew stronger at enforcing my boundaries, and, with that, developed more self-worth and confidence."
Sa bagong simula ni Emman, pinasok niya ang mundo ng content creation sa pamamagitan ng pagbabahagi sa TikTok ng kanyang buhay at kuwento ng pag-asa.
Hindi raw akalain ng dalaga na tatangkilikin ito ng netizens.
Saad niya: "i began sharing pieces of my life on tiktok, and, to my surprise, many of you resonated with it.
"in just a few months, i gained half a million followers, a supportive community, many new amazing relationships, and a new perspective on my life."
Dahil sa pagmamahal at suporta ng kanyang followers online, mas nagkaroon daw ng kumpiyansa sa sarili si Emman.
Nais daw niyang patunayan sa mga nangutya sa kanya noon na karapat-dapat siya sa respeto at pagmamahal ng iba.
Ani Emman: "for so long, i felt invisible. the bullying convinced me i was damaged, inadequate, and worthless. but now, i see how wrong i was.
"i now understand how much i have to offer. i know who i am, feel secure in myself, and am no longer swayed by others' opinions."
Sa huli, sinabi ni Emman na bagamat puno ng hirap at pagsubok ang taong 2024, naniniwala siyang sa 2025 ay makakakita na siya ng inspirasyon para magpatuloy sa buhay.
"2024 was a whirlwind of ups and downs. but as i step into 2025, i can't see a reason not to live," aniya.
See Emman’s mental health journey post in this gallery:
Emman's family announces her "unexpected passing"
Ngayong Biyernes ng umaga, October 24, nagulantang ang followers ni Emman nang isapubliko ng kanyang pamilya ang biglaan niyang pagpanaw.
Pumanaw si Emman sa edad na 19.
Sa joint statament sa Instagram ng ina ni Emman na si Felicia Hung-Atienza, amang si Kim, at mga kapatid na sina Jose at Eliana, inanunsiyo nila ang "unexpected passing" ng kilalang social media influencer..
Hindi tinukoy kung kailan at ano ang sanhi ng pagpanaw ni Emman, ngunit binanggit sa post na may pinagdaanan itong mental health issue.
Narito ang kabuuang pahayag ng pamilya ni Emman: "It’s with deep sadness that we share the unexpected passing of our daughter and sister, Emman.
"She brought so much joy, laughter, and love into our lives and into the lives of everyone who knew her.
"Emman had a way of making people feel seen and heard, and she wasn’t afraid to share her own journey with mental health. Her authenticity helped so many feel less alone.
"To honor Emman’s memory, we hope you carry forward the qualities she lived by: compassion, courage, and a little extra kindness in your everyday life.
"With love,
"Kim, Feli, Jose, and Eliana"
Read: Kim Atienza defends daughter's involvement in protests
Ang depresyon ay seryosong usapin. May mga organisasyong handang tumulong sa mga taong dumaraan sa ganitong kondisyon. Katulad na lamang ng National Center for Mental Health na inilunsad ng Department of Health.
Para sa nangangailangan ng tulong, maaring tumawag sa National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline: 1553, Landline (02) 7-989-8727 at mobile number 0966-351-4518.
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