Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide attempt, drug addiction
Hindi napigilan ni Maegan Aguilar ang mapaluha nang makita ang isang lumang larawan nila ng amang si Freddie Aguilar na ginamit bilang video support sa kanyang panayam sa Fast Talk with Boy Abunda nitong Biyernes, July 24, 2026.
Para kay Maegan, tila nagparamdam ang namayapang OPM icon sa pamamagitan ng naturang larawan.
Pumanaw si Freddie noong May 27, 2025.
Ayon kay Maegan, ilang araw lamang bago siya tuluyang lumayo sa kanyang ama kuha ang litrato.
“That was taken just a few days nung umalis na talaga ako sa kanya.
“Yung oras na sinabi niya na, ‘Ayusin mo ang buhay mo. Hindi mo alam kung gaano katagal pa ako.’
“Few days lang yan, yang picture na yan,” pagbabahagi ng singer-actress.
Read: OPM icon Freddie Aguilar dead at 72
KA FREDDIE'S LAST MESSAGE TO MAEGAN
Hindi na naabutan ni Maegan ang pagpanaw ni Freddie dahil nasa drug rehabilitation center siya noong mga panahong iyon.
Gayunman, bago namatay ang "Anak" singer ay nakapagpadala si Maegan ng liham sa kanyang ama bilang pasasalamat.
Lahad niya: “I did before he died. I wrote him a letter after his birthday.
“It wasn’t a simple thank you and sorry.
“It was ‘Tay, sobrang mahal pala ninyo ako the whole time. The whole time na hinayaan ninyo akong magka-leche-leche ang buhay ko kasi nagtiwala kayo na kakayanin ko.
“'Nagtiwala kayo na I would find the right way and without you saying it, that means ganoon mo ako kamahal. Ganoon kalaki ang tiwala mo sa akin.’”
Ikinuwento rin ni Maegan ang huli nilang naging komunikasyon ng pumanaw na ama.
“That was after his birthday, February 2025 and April 9, my birthday, he sent me a video greeting. And the way he looked there, parang ang liwanag ng hitsura niya.
“Para siyang anghel and he had this smile, this aliwalas in his face.
“Sabi niya, ‘Anak, I’m so happy. I love you so much. Paglabas mo, mag-U.S. tour tayo.’
“And then come May, wala na. Ang masakit, nasa loob ako so I can’t even go out for it.
“Hindi talaga ako pinayagan for good reason kasi talagang recipe for relapse.
“Family was also fighting. Ganoon naman, di ba, when someone dies? Ang gulo.
“It was magulo so they only allowed me a week after and I was just allowed one hour lang. Ganyan talaga with escort.
“Ni-recite ko sa kanya yung 'Sula al Patria,' yung Muslim prayer kasi alam ko yon, nag-aral din po ako.
"And then I said, ‘Salamat, Tay, kasi at least bago ito nangyari, maganda yung huling usap natin kahit hindi face to face.’”
Aminado si Maegan na hanggang ngayon ay nami-miss niya ang kanyang ama, ngunit inamin niyang hindi ito naging demonstrative parent.
“Nami-miss ko siya. Pero kasi si Tatay, he’s never really the type of father na he wants to be surrounded with us every day. It’s just how he was.
“We’re used to it but what he never stopped doing for me is to impart strength and knowledge.
“He made me hard to face my own monsters, to face my mistakes,” saad ni Magean.
MAEGAN AGUILAR'S LONG BATTLE WITH DRUG ADDICTION
Isa sa pinakamabigat na bahagi ng panayam ay ang pag-amin ni Maegan tungkol sa kanyang mahabang pakikipaglaban sa droga.
Ayon sa kanya, 15 taong gulang pa lamang siya nang unang makagamit ng marijuana.
Una naman niyang natikman ang shabu noong 2009.
Lahad ni Maegan: “My family is also not a conventional one because Tatay’s a musician, my mom is a socialite.
“Everybody is, like, in the music scene also so I didn’t exactly grow up in a conventional home, right?
“So there were times that the adults of the family smoke weed. It was the ‘80s. It was the '90s. Parang it was just the norm at the time.
“So when I got to fifteen years old, I had my first joint of marijuana and I was a pothead until I was 25 years old.
“And then, throughout my life as a musician I will try ecstacy here, cocaine there, but nothing stick, like, addiction.
“Fast forward to shabu, it stuck to me the first time nang matagal, in 2021 up to 2024.
“The rest of the time, putol-putol, like when I first tried it in 2009, it was for six months lang.
“Actually, there’s no reason for this. I’m allergic to alcohol. I’m allergic to nicotine.
"And I wanted to have a vice so I did drugs because I wasn’t allergic to that.
“I justified the use of it with problems that I had.
“It’s a vice and bad habit and then, you just make excuses for it sometimes and sometimes, you just wanna use.
"Because in rehab, we were taught that addiction is a relapsing chronic disease so I didn’t know that for the longest time that I was using drugs.”
Read: Two Pinoys recount viral fistfight with pickpockets in Rome subway
MAEGAN ON WHY SHE SOUGHT RAFFY TULFO'S HELP
Naalala rin ni Maegan ang panahong humingi siya ng tulong sa programa ni Raffy Tulfo noong 2023.
Sa panahong iyon, sinabi niyang desperado na siya at naniniwalang pera lamang ang makapagliligtas sa kanya.
“It’s a mix of desperation, it’s a mix of implusive deciding, and I was just completely walanghiya na.
“Sa isip ko, kung mahihiya ako sa kinalalagyan ko, baka lalo lang akong mamatay if I don’t try to ask help.
“It made me entitled. You have to help me.
“You have to give me what I want because I can’t provide it for myself and I really need help.
"But the scope of help, the definition of help, true help, was a haze kasi ang iniisip ko noon na makakatulong lang is pera.”
Ipinaliwanag din ni Maegan kung bakit sumali siya noon sa "Bida Next," ang search for para bagong host ng Eat Bulaga! noong 2022.
“In the history of showbiz, I’m not the only one who had a drug problem, right?
“I watched all the stories of the others na parang they were helped, binigyan ng chance, natulungan, nakabawi.
"And it’s also why that time, I also joined 'Bida Next' on Eat Bulaga!, kasi I was hoping na makita ako nina Tito, Vic and Joey na ang trato din nila sa akin parang anak-anakan when I was younger.
“Parang makita nila na kahit I’m falling apart, I still want to work.
"Pero it’s all wrong. It’s all misconnection.”
Inamin din niyang nagkamali siyang isipin na negatibo ang lalabas sa hair follicle test na isinagawa sa kanya.
“I wasn’t totally clean that year," sabi niya.
“It was only probably two months that I stopped using before going on the program.
"And siyempre, kami ng partner ko that time, wala kami sa sarili because we were on drugs.
“And he kept telling me na 'Okay na tayo. We’re clean kasi matagal na yon, two months.'
“Sa addict, matagal na yung two months na hindi tumitira, pero hindi naman yon totoo.
“That’s not the case sa tagal ng ginagawa namin so I had false confidence that I would test negative.”
Read: Maegan Aguilar admits real reason for joining talent search 'Bida Next'
THE NIGHT MAEGAN ATTEMPTED TO END HER LIFE
Matapos hindi matuloy ang inaasahan niyang tulong, sinabi ni Maegan na nawalan siya ng pag-asa.
“Nag-fail yung tulong kay Senator. Nagsara na rin yung pinto na yon.
"And that time, that was the last door that was open for us, in our heads.
“That was the last chance we had tapos nawala na. Naging laughing stock na ako ng social media.
“Tayo lang ang nakakaintindi how hard that is kasi tayo ang tinatamaan nung milyun-milyong bashers.
“And then, I was not hearing anything from my family. Parang talagang tinabla nila ako.
“That time, ten years na kaming estranged kasi lumayo na nga ako.
“There was nothing helping me and I just wanted to die.”
Read: Maegan Aguilar reunites with parents on 45th birthday: "This is the first time, after a decade..."
Ikinuwento niya ang sandaling nagtungo siya sa isang gusali upang wakasan ang sariling buhay.
“I found a building and I got to the mezzanine floor, but it was like a movie.
“As soon as I went up to the mezzanine, there’s like this four doors in front of me, they’re all white.
“It’s so weird, and each door had a padlock bigger than my head.
“So how can I move forward to my suicide?
“I can’t go through the doors anymore so I just wailed in tears.”
Sa gitna ng kanyang struggle, isang halos hindi niya kakilalang tao raw ang tumulong sa kanya.
Pagbabahagi niya: “Going through that, yung phone ko would not stop ringing.
“There was one person who was not my friend.
“It was just some random musician I met on Kumu app... He goes by the name of Destiny...
“Kinalma niya ako, pinakain niya ako. And then binigyan niya ako ng money para maka-check-in, para matulog kahit isang araw.”
Sunod-sunod din daw tumulong sa kanya ang iba pang mga taong hindi malapit sa kanya, hanggang sa makausap siya ng kampo ng veteran singer na si Kuh Ledesma.
“Until two months yung dumaan, I heard from Mark, and his from the company of Kuh Ledesma.
“I couldn’t believe it that it was Kuh...
“She remembered that friendship and decided that, ‘Okay, I will help her out’ and she did.
“That’s why I got in Rehab 1 because of Kuh.”
Read: Two Pinoys recount viral fistfight with pickpockets in Rome subway
THE LAST LESSON FROM FREDDIE
Sa kabila ng unang rehabilitasyon, bumalik si Maegan sa droga matapos muling makasama ang kanyang dating partner.
Umabot pa siya sa puntong naging homeless.
“Yun ang malala, before going to Rehab 2, homeless na ako ng one week.
“Natutulog ako sa tricycle or sa banyo ng McDonald’s.
“Ang lala.
“And then to eat, I would go to the police outpost and ask them to feed me...
“Parang tanga. Para akong dumi," pahayag ni Maegan.
Sa panahong iyon, hindi umano nagpatinag ang ama niyang si Freddie Aguilar.
“And tatay wouldn’t budge. He’s like, ‘You know what? Fix it, ayusin mo. You don’t even know how long I still have. Ayusin mo.’
“I just thought he was just being selfish kasi nga entitled ako.
“'Hello, kailangan ko ng tulong. Bakit hindi mo ako tulungan?'”
Lumabas si Maegan sa ikalawang rehabilitation center noong April 2026.
Ngayon ay maayos na raw ang kanyang kalagayan at umaasa siyang mabigyan muli ng pagkakataon sa entertainment industry bilang singer at actress.
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