UPDATED Seph Ubalde revealed battle with depression on video posted after his death

IMAGE https://www.facebook.com/trainer.seph

Seph Ubalde ended his 33:34 video uploaded on Facebook by saying: "See you on the other side.”


Isang video tungkol sa depression ang lumabas sa Facebook feed ng dating TV5 anchor at Manila Times columnist na si Joseph "Seph" Holandes Ubalde noong April 5, Biyernes, bandang alas-dose ng tanghali.

Pumanaw si Seph noong April 1, Lunes, sa edad na 33.

Sa lagpas 30-minutong video na may titulong My Depression, ibinahagi ni Seph ang kanyang pakikipaglaban sa depression.

Sinabi rin ni Seph sa video na masayahin siyang tao, at marami siyang napapangiti.

Pero kapag nag-iisa na lamang siya, doon na raw siya inaatake ng kalungkutan.

Hindi nag-iisa si Seph.

Base sa statistics ng inilabas ng Department of Health (DOH) noong January 17, 2019, "3.3 million Filipinos suffer from depressive disorders."

Bagamat ilang campaigns na tungkol sa mental health awareness ang inilunsad sa telebisyon, social media, at iba pang platforms, hindi pa rin ganoon ka-bukas ang marami na pag-usapan ito.

"Most people in a mental state such as depression find it a burden to reach out and ask for help," ayon sa saliksik ng PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal) contributor na si Romy Peña-Cruz para sa artikulo niyang Mental Watch: What to do when someone shows signs of contemplating suicide, na lumabas dito noong June 13, 2018.

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Kaya ang paalala ng DOH sa publiko: "Depression is a serious health condition....We need to start talking about depression to end the stigma surrounding mental health."

READ Jasmine Curtis Smith and other artists reveal own struggles with mental health issues

SEPH SAYS HE WAS ALWAYS JUST GETTING BY

Isiniwalat ni Seph sa kanyang video na "physically abused" siya ng kanyang ama noong nagbibinata siya.

Saad ng anchor at columnist: "I was his punching bag for a time.

"Maybe that... and I could blame him for that. But I don’t want to."

May punto rin daw sa buhay niya na naghirap siya: "I'm struggling with my identity and gender also.

"And I had no one, really, to validate me or to assure me that everything will be okay."

Sa kanyang video, ibinahagi ni Seph ang naramdaman niya sa puntong iyon.

"How am I? Kamusta ba ako?" tanong niya sa sarili.<

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"To be honest, I really feel, like, I am just getting by.

"And I’m just going through the motions, and I am not in full control of my feelings, emotions.

"There have been a lot of times when I would really think about ending it all.

"And it's constant."

Dati raw ay may naka-date siya at sinabihan niya ito ng: "I contemplated about killing myself..."

Galit na galit daw ang ka-date niya, at binalikan siya ng, "O, anong mapapala mo kapag ginawa mo yun?"

Dapat daw, hindi ganung klaseng pagkumpronta ang ginawa sa kanya dahil ang kanyang pakiramdam ay malakas at maaaring totoo.

READ Anne Curtis, Ryza Cenon, and more stars talk about mental health

SEPH SAYS PEOPLE WHO ARE DEPRESSED ARE NOT WEAK

Sabi pa ni Seph, "When I see people who take their own lives because of depression, I feel sad

"Not because the person is weak..."

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Dito nagsimulang maluha si Seph.

"People that are depressed are not weak. They're not.

"They're the strongest people I know.

"You cannot imagine the sh*t they've been through.

"If I told you my story when I was a kid, everything I underwent, you wouldn’t have survived.

"We're not weak. We're strong.

"Every day is…. it’s a struggle.”

Sa puntong ito ay humagulgol na si Seph.

Aniya, "I'm just getting out of bed. Can you imagine?

"That's a struggle. And we have to do it every day. So, cut us some slack.

"But sometimes, uhm, people resort to ending it all because the pain is unbearable.

"The death seems a lesser pain.

"What I'm trying to say is, instead of saying, 'Sayang siya. Ang hina niya kasi,' just say, 'I wish I could have been there.'

"So, I wish I've been a better friend. I wish I’ve been a better sister or a brother."

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READ Kylie Verzosa admits ordeal with depression; supports mental health advocacy

A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM IS NEEDED

Nagbigay ng payo si Seph sa mga may kilalang dumaranas ng kahalintulad ng karamdaman niya.

“For someone who’s depressed like me," aniya, "even the simple question 'Kamusta ka na?' 'How are you?' 'What have you been up to?' We take that seriously.

"But the person that's asking it must mean it."

Dapat daw sa mga taong may kakilalang may depression ay maging seryoso sa kanilang mga binibitiwang salita.

Aminado si Seph na wala siyang masyadong kaibigang nakakausap tungkol sa kanyang depresyon.

Ninais daw sana niyang magkaroon ng maraming kaibigang makakausap o matatawagan sa mga alanganing oras, lalo na kung inaatake siya ng depression.

READ Isabelle Daza makes a stand for mental health awareness: "We shouldn't be ashamed."

SEPH TRIED TO FIGHT HIS DEPRESSION

Ayon pa kay Seph, sinubukan labanan ang kanyang nararamdaman.

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"In the last few weeks, I have been trying to reconnect with people who have been part of my past and yun lang.

"Because, siguro, the distance is too far now, it's harder to bridge those connections.

"I wish I have some friends who could see clearly when I'm just pretending to be fine."

Hinikayat din ni Seph ang mga pamilyang may kamag-anak na may mental health issues na tulungan itong palakasin ang kanilang disposisyon sa buhay.

"I wish I had a support system in my family that doesn't... that’s more willing to talk about mental health issues.

"And not merely dismissing it as ‘Magpahinga ka kasi,' 'Magpahinga ka lang,' or 'Magsimba ka kasi lagi.'"

Umasa rin nang matagal si Seph na sana ay may katuwang siya, yung taong makakausap tungkol sa kanyang nararamdaman.

READ Sofia Andres braves stigma against mental health illnesses; reveals anxiety disorder

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SEPH ASKS WHY PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS ARE PUT IN THE "BASEMENT"

Tinawag din ni Seph ang pansin ng mga nasa pamahalaan na sana ay magkaroon ng magandang treatment facilities para sa mga taong may mental health problems.

Kasunod nito ay kinuwestiyon niya kung bakit ang mga ganitong facilities sa mga ospital sa Pilipinas ay nasa basement.

Sa ibang bansa, mayroon daw lounge kunsaan nakakapag-relax ang mga pasyente.

Kuwento pa niya, sa isang ospital na kanyang pinuntahan, nakipagtagpo raw sa kanya ang duktor sa basement, na tila janitorial service room.

Sinabi rin ni Seph na ginawa niya ang lahat para magpagamot, pero masyadong mahal ang ibang paraan.

At hindi rin daw ito nakakatulong.

Karamihan daw sa mga kakilala niyang may depression ay tumigil na lamang sa pag-inom ng gamot.

"SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE."

Bago matapos ang kanyang 33 minutes and 34 seconds na video, nag-iwan ng payo si Seph sa mga taong may depression:

"I'd like to end this video by saying that for people who are depressed or undergoing any mental health issue, fight.

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"Not everyone is as brave as we are. Fight.

"And then, when it seems like every day as you struggle and you’re not winning anything, fight.

"Not just for your family, not just for your friends, fight for yourself."

Bilin pa ni Seph sa lahat: "And for those who have decided not to fight anymore, please don’t judge them.

"You don't know what they've been through.

"So, that’s it. Hope to see you guys again. And just be kind to one another.

"Be understanding of each other’s struggles. That’s it."

Bago matapos ang video, gusto pa raw sana niyang magbitaw ng biro, pero nakakalahating oras na ang video niya at baka hindi na raw ito ma-upload sa Facebook.

Makahulugang mensahe ni Seph sa huli: "See you on the other side."

MENTAL HEALTH: CAUSE AND PREVENTION

Para sa mga taong nakararanas ng depression, tawagan ang mga sumusunod na 24-hour hotlines: (02) 804-4673, 0917 558 4673, at 2919 (free for Globe and TM).

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At para naman sa lahat, mas maging aware tayo sa nararamdaman at pinagdaraanan ng mga taong nakapaligid sa atin.

Hindi rin nakakatulong ang mga insensitive comments patungkol sa video ni Seph at patungkol sa anumang post ng mga gaya ni Seph na may pinagdaraanan.

Gaya ng sinabi ni Seph: "...instead of saying, 'Sayang siya. Ang hina niya kasi,' just say, 'I wish, I could have been there.''"

Narito ang mga dapat tandaan kapag ikaw ay may kaibigan na sa tingin mo ay dumaranas ng depression."

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(Ed’s Note: More information on mental health has been added to this article, which was originally published on April 3.)


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